Thursday, December 25, 2008

When Gift Giving Goes All Wrong And It's All Right

Who knew that gift giving could be so complicated?

For the past two days, So has been the only one of my three kids inquiring about whether or not she would be receiving a "REAL" present this Chanukah. When she says "REAL" she is referring to the tradition in our family that has each of the kids receiving one main present from Mommy and Aba (Dad), on any given night, while the other eight nights has them receiving ...odds and ends. These "odds and ends" would be chocolate coins, plastic dreidels filled with jellybeans, freshly laundered pajamas....stocking stuffers, if you will.

The "REAL" gift can show up on any random night, but I always give all three of the kids their main gift on the same night, together. This is where things got complicated. It seems Ro's gift, the one I purchased this past summer during Target's Super Toy Sale, went missing. I had it in a room in the basement, and it is no where to be found.

Whenever So questioned her impending gift (so annoying) I had to explain that she would not receive it until I located Ro's gift. She went on and on, even after receiving new polly pockets just last week as a "you were so brave to go through surgery, and now I have to get your two younger siblings stupid gifts as well so they won't be jealous" But I just couldn't find the damn present and I needed to give out the gifts last night, because we are going away for the duration of Chanukah.

I thought maybe my Mother mistook the gift as some of her crap that she has been storing in my house and thus took it over to her house as she was moving stuff back. But she looked in her house, to no avail. And then she offered up a different gift in the meantime, suggesting that the original gift, a V-tech learning system, will hopefully show up in time for Ro's birthday in February.

"How about, Dunk The Ducks?"

Huh, what is that?

It is apparently some carnival game that makes noise and you need to dunk the ducks.

This game sounds
A. Annoying
B. Boring
C. Like it lacks substance
D. All of the above

I will go with "D" on this one, and yet I will take my mother up on her offer because I am sick and tired of So's incessant kvetching. Thank G-d they left her vocal chords intact when she had her tonsils removed.

But the gift showed up too late last night, so I promised them they would all get the gifts this morning. Which I guess is so apropos on the morning of December 25th. Only we lack the Christmas tree. We do have lovely Christmas pajamas though.

And this morning, Ate received his 45 piece emergency vehicle set, at which point he immediately took the fire truck, ambulance and police car, and left the room leaving the other 42 miniature pieces scattered on the floor, causing my bare feet many strange indentations. But Ate was happy.

So received a piano, keyboard with many buttons to create a multitude of sound effects that will at some point push me to the brink of insanity. But I promised her last year, when Ate happened to be leaning over her previous keyboard, coincidentally as puke rained forth from his mouth, that I would get her a new one. Although I don't think it was the vomit that broke the piano, but rather the water that I had to pour over the damn thing to clean it out.

I began to worry when the piano would not work after I placed 4 brand new AA batteries inside. First the smoke detector, now my piano, I have no luck with brand new batteries. But I guess the piano just needed time to warm up. After all, it had been sitting in the back of my van for over a week. And So was happy.

And now it was Ro's turn. We gave her the lovely "Dunk The Duck" gift, which in retrospect I maybe should have looked at before hand, and her response...

"Iiiiiiii dooooooooon't liiiiiiiike thiiiiiiis."

Ohh look I said, it will be so fun. Let's see how we can dunk the ducks. And then I looked at it.

They should call this thing "Shoot The Ducks" because that is exactly what you need to do. And I am now looking at the toy gun that I swore would never make it into my house. Here it is....IN MY HOUSE!!!

So what gets a kid very interested in a toy that two seconds prior, they hated?

When Mommy says, "You know, I don't really like guns, maybe we should get you a different present some other day."

Me and my big mouth...

Now she wants the toy. So we put 4 AA batteries in the duck part. Of all the stinkin' batteries that work on the first shot...dang it. And then we put 2 AAA batteries in the gun so it can make a very pleasant shooting sound effect. Damn - those batteries work also. But then we realize the duck part only semi-works.

It is literally like the carnival game, complete with annoying carnival music and voice of "Booth Man" yelling, "Step right up" and "Good shot". The only part that doesn't work, the whole point of the game, is the belt the ducks are on that is supposed to move them around as you shoot and dunk them when you make the target.

So I explained to Ro that the game was broken, and we would have to get her a different one.

And she kindly reminded me, that the gun still works.

And off she went, shooting her pistol, complete with sounds of shots fired. And Ro was happy.

0 have shown Orah a little love: