Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Call Child Services, I Dare You

The fact that I am writing this post at this very minute, very clearly implies that I am neglecting and utterly ignoring my children.

I have to explain to them that my blog is like a baby. And this baby, much like them, requires attention and nurturing from time to time. My poor blog baby is looking a bit malnourished and tenuous lately.

My lack of blogging also means Mamma has had lack of many happy hours as of late.

Let's backtrack in time,
shall we???

I forced myself happily took it upon myself to train for another half marathon. My training began the day after passover. Between the beginning of February and Passover in April, I was spending every waking moment preparing for aforementioned Holiday. Before that, I was training from November of 2009 until January 31 2010, when I ran my first half marathon and before that I pushed out a nine pound three ounce bundle of joy to add to my collection of three other bundles of joy.


So, two Sundays ago, I ran my second half marathon and I am proud to say, (while my time still sucks) I did shave off 13 minutes from my first half marathon to my second.


(Nevermind my post race puffy look. I retain much fluid after 13.1 miles)

I actually recovered much quicker from this race than last. I only was walking like I just got off a horse for a few days as opposed to the 6 weeks of practically all out hip RE - location (no not dislocation) that I felt last time. Yes, last time my left hip felt like it had packed up and moved down south.

I thank my new found Chiropractor for that. As well as my massage therapist.

In fact, I felt so good after this last race, I was able to get my groove on later that night with my running friend (in the above picture) at a Sheryl Crowe concert.

So I was finally looking forward to a Sunday that did not involve kids swim lessons and myself taking off to run more miles than any human should run at one time, but of course that Sunday of pure rest and relaxation would have to wait.

My friend Rayli made a Bat Mitzvah at 11:30 in the morning, 45 minutes away from my house. It was a really fun and exciting and Beautiful Bat Mitzvah, (you hear me Rayli?) but it did not factor into my Sunday so well. I was making a birthday at 3:30 for Ate and Bam in my parents backyard that required pool inflating and hose configuring and water filling.

I had to get out of bed on a Sunday at 7:30 am (which I should consider a treat, since the previous Sunday I had to wake at 3:45 am to get to my race) but I am not really a morning person.

I drove to my parents with a crapload of stuff (it's times like these I wish I had a backyard) including one older kiddie pool that I surprisingly discovered was NOT placed into a black garbage bag after last years use, before it was placed under my deck for the winter. CRUDDY, can not even begin to describe it.

So there I was at my parents thinking it will all go smoothly. Then I realized they had no outdoor outlet for my pump to inflate the pool. So I had to find the nearest outlet to the backdoor, which had the pump literally being pulled right up to the screen door. I inflated that cruddy pool and two other pools. I was hoping that my newer pool would fill while I cleaned the crud up, but that would be too easy.

My parents hose did not reach from the water line all the way to the backyard, but it did reach the deck. So I spent 20 extra minutes, pulled from thin air and scrubbed that crud with dish detergent and rags and only became ever so slightly SATURATED and SOAKED with water.

I was running waaay behind and still needed to pick up the cake, some balloons and drinks. Oh, but first I had to go back home and get my hose to attach to my parent's hose to fill the damn pools, so the water would be warm for the birthday.

My "set it and forget it" birthday was taking a bit longer to set.

I got home, failing to complete ALL my tasks, at 10:15. I showered, dressed and finally made it out to the Bat Mitzvah with Hun at 11:15. We arrived shortly after 12 and there was some mean dancing going on, which Rayli made me join so that I could make a total fool of myself. Thanks Rayli.

I had to leave by 1:30, which ended up being 1:40 (after I took the not yet open sweet table hostage - for my kids, of course).

The drive home, uhhhh, did not go so well.

All I'll say is that it included a wrong turn and cutting off a cop who was none to happy.

We did not get to our house until 3, and I had to grab the kids and paraphernalia and get in the car and GO!!!!

I still had the food to put out and one pool to finish filling and bubble supplies and water guns to open....

I never did sit down, I was constantly "setting it" and never really had a chance to "forget it".

The weather was great though.


The kids had a great time. They all agreed it was the best birthday party EVER! And then Ro asked with her sweet little voice, "can my next birthday be like this"?

Oh, poor, sweet Ro


Do 7 year olds ski?

Until we I cleaned up and got everyone home, fed, bathed and in bed it was 8:30 and I was spent.

Monday morning I woke up as if I had a bottle of Jack with some Rufies slipped in the night prior. I had such a birthday hangover and very little memory of what actually occurred, except the image of some sweet smiles and the sounds of incessant giggling.

And now I need to stop neglecting my children, so we are off to the pool.

And by pool, I mean the free one at my friends condo that I neither need to de-crud or inflate. Because that is the way I roll.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Wouldn't Horse Hair Itch?

They call this time of year, "Summer Vacation".

I'm sure my kids would agree with that term.

I however, refer to it as......


I'm exerting much energy I do not possess, to take care of children who obviously want and deserve a much more structured environment.


I could use a nap.

Maybe if I sleep, even for only a few moments, in this....

A MATTRESS AT $33,000???

A MATTRESS AT $33,000??

by Anjali Athavaley
Wednesday, June 16, 2010

provided by

Mary Pat Wallace, owner of Hastens' Chicago, poses on the Vividus ultra-luxe bed that retails for $49,500 (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Mary Pat Wallace, owner of Hastens' Chicago, poses on the Vividus ultra-luxe bed that retails for $49,500.

Made with horsehair, silk and gold, new bedding pushes prices sky-high.

All I can say is - that bed better friggin' DRIVE me somewhere beachy and blissful if I am going to spend 33, 000 on it.

And this is not even the most expensive mattress on the market.

At this point, I would curl up on a bale of prickly hay if it meant I could catch just a few re-energizing z's.


Do these people live in this universe?

Do they realize that there are people sleeping in cardboard boxes under trash and newspapers???

Oh, and I just realized that the picture included in this article is not even the 33,000 dollar mattress.

Noooooo, it's the more luxurious model retailing at 49,500.

And my husband is still without car because he is just coming to terms with how much those motorized modes of actual transportation cost.

Make that mattress FLY, and I just may consider it.

In the category of "stupid" this one is actually asinine.

For the love of extremely IMPOVERISHED humanity,


After that rant, I am further exhausted.

Good thing my lovely Mother In Law took the kids.

I'm off to my reasonably priced mattress.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Learn It Or Zip It!

I can think of about 20 topics I can blog about, being that I have not consistently blogged for some time now.

I can talk about the AMAZING Blackhawks win last night, but I will spare you (for now).

I can blog about my inconsistent, disrupted, non-existent 1/2 marathon training for a run that takes place in 3 days, but I will wait.

I should mention that my two boys have each recently celebrated birthdays. But I may find the time to blog about that when I also find the time to actually throw them a birthday party.

I might add that I have one lovely child who graduated from Kindergarten.

But let me ask you,
how have the past few weeks been for you?

For me?

Well I'm Jewish ..... so ...... not the best.

I don't really like to discuss politics, so I won't.

I do like History though.

I really wish some people would just take the time to learn Jewish History.


And all your ignorant defenders.

For everyone who wants the Jews to get out of "Palestine", and stop the "occupation" of the Palestinians, and send the Jews back to their "homes" in Poland and Germany, just take a few minutes a day and study Jewish history.

Humor me!

Just come back to me and tell me WHERE exactly the Jewish people's home is.

I'll start you off.

My dad was born in what was Czechoslovakia. His passport at one time said he was form Hungary. And now his passport says he is from the Ukraine. Although - all these places still seem to refer to the place he was born, where is he from?

Does it matter what his passport says...

Many Eastern European Jews only ended up there after being expelled from Spain.

Yes - LOTS of Jews lived in Spain.

But in 1492 when Columbus sailed the Ocean blue (oh, and pretty much opened the world's eyes to a New Land full of Native Americans who were themselves practically killed and removed to make room for Europeans) Spain decided they did not want Jews living there.

So many Jews went to Turkey, North Africa, Italy, Algiers, Egypt, Tripoli, Morocco, elsewhere in Europe .... you get the point. Many of these places took it upon themselves to be less then welcoming to Jews as well.

But how did Jews get to Spain in the first place?

That goes back to the Jewish Diaspora.

Romans conquered Judea and sent Jews as slaves to Rome. The theory is that Rome did much business with Spain and this allowed for Jews to end up in Spain.

But one point to highlight in the previous sentence is "Judea".

Judea would be Israel.

The Jews ended up there years and years earlier after being enslaved in Egypt, crossing a Sea, wandering through a desert, and watching the man that was leading them, Moses, pass away just before tasting the fruits of his labor ...... for his people ......

But if you ask most "Palestinians" today, especially the youth, they only know the past 43 years of history between the Jews and Arabs.

You can not understand today's evolving, explosive circumstances in the Mideast, without understanding where the conflict begins. And it begins in the Bible.

Abraham, the first of our forefathers, was married to Sarah, the first of our foremothers. She had a hard time conceiving and wanted Abraham to be a father. She was suffering infertility and she was pained by not being able to produce a child for Abraham. She asked Abraham to go off with his maidservant Hagar so she may conceive a child for him. She bore him a son named Ishmael.

After this, miraculously Sarah conceived in very old age and bore Abraham a son named Isaac. Isaac was chosen by G-d to be the son chosen to make a covenant between G-d and Abraham that He would be the Father of the Jewish nation via Isaac. Ishmael was promised to be the Father of other nomadic, wandering nations, most noted, Islam. The prophet Mohamed is a direct descendant of Ishmael.

Of course, all that is in the Old Testament and frankly, who reads that anymore????

Certainly not the guy at the end of this video.

I think most of these protesters have no idea what they are protesting.

I applaud the very brave boy who ALONE stood up to the slew of naysayers and misguided souls who took it upon themselves to make this a personal attack of this one boy, but they should learn some history before they go out in the streets.

The pro-"Palestinian" girl at the end also says something VERY telling. When all this time the Palestinians would have the world believe that they want PEACE, meaning a coexisting, side by side state of Palestine and Israel, she says the TRUTH!!!

It's the very few words of the last "pro-Palestenian" boy that really irk me. You want to come out and protest. At least do your friggin homework, or SHUT UP!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

To My Little Men

Dear Sons,

In the "FYI" category:

You do not need to keep YANKING, TUGGING, and GRABBING at "IT".

You do not need regular security checks.

You do not need to keep ascertaining that the thing is there.

It will not fall off.

I repeat ...

It will NOT FALL OFF!!!

It is attached.

Ate - there is no need to share "ITs" presence with us every time you leave the bathroom.

Bam - I would like to change your diaper in a timely fashion. Also I would like grandchildren one day and I don't think you know your own strength...

Just keep your hands above the belt please.

Especially in public.

Thank you.