Thursday, July 15, 2010

It Can Change On A Dime

This is not the way I expected to return to my blog, but my blog is a place to RELEASE my feelings and that is what I need to do.

I was having a really great summer. I was focusing on the joy of being a mother. I have been spending time outdoors with children, with children and spouse, with spouse, alone, becoming one with nature, with my thoughts, reflecting.

I did not really spend last summer so invested in "moments", as I was busy taking care of a newborn. And when taking care of a newborn, one loses track of time. Each day seemed to end and begin at the same moment and time became blurred. There was only sleep to dream and rejuvenate. Any time to reflect was absent. Even as a good friend lost a beautiful young child, suddenly, I could only reflect until my own newborns cries would pull me away from my thoughts.

This summer I have four children who are more predictable and I am able to "schedule" moments to spend. And it has been joyful.

And then suddenly and unexpectedly -


There is no explanation, and certainly none that would suffice.

Moshe Menora was a contributing member, not only of our community, but of society as a whole.

I did not know him extremely well, but my parents knew him better. He, along with his wife have three children.

Miriam and Kelly were in school with two of my sisters and my family knows the son Shalom as well.

Kelly lives in a neighborhood in Israel where my sister who attended school with her lives and they share in each others celebrations and events.

I had been to Israel last summer and two summers before that, each time my sister made a Bar Mitzvah and their family was in attendance. I would see their family whenever I was in Israel, including their beautiful daughter Sara. She was on the plane as well.

Also on the plane were 3 of her cousins. Rikki and Racheli did not survive. Yossi (Netanel Yosef ben Simcha Sima) needs our prayers as he fights to recover from burns over 50% of his body.

The truth is, one does not need to know this family on ANY level in order to feel the impact of this most tragic event. I have heard stories of the like, unfortunately, all over the news and immediately, the coldness envelopes your body and you can only ask, "why"?

But this specific story obviously hit my own community with an intense breeze of eeriness.

Even I did not feel the "eye" of the storm until I realized, when attending the funeral, that I was attending a funeral for four family members at one time.

Who does that?

Who finds themselves at a funeral for four people at one time?

It's so far beyond what is supposed to be NATURAL to this world.

The human being was not built with the equipment to comprehend this sort of travesty.

We can try all we want, but we can not wrap our little human brains around it.

There are people involved who lost a parent and children in one day. A woman who lost a husband and precious grandchildren in one swift moment. Children who lost siblings and a beloved Grandfather in one fell swoop. And so on.

It's unconscionable.

The funeral was emotional, moving, draining, abounding with attendees spilling out the door into the street.

Everything said can resonate with someone in that room.

And then, to hear "Kel maley rachamim" (Prayer for the deceased) said FOUR times in a row, once for each of the departed, brought chills to my spine and made the room seem to shudder.

We will never have the answer to the obvious question of,


But each one of us can come to our own determination of what lessons we should walk away with. And we can each prevail by choosing to live our lives in a way that will honor those who can no longer live life for themselves.

I am grateful that I was able to spend my summer wrapping myself in moments of blessing given to me by my Husband and children, and I will continue to do so.

Life is so fragile.

It can change on a dime.