Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Growing Up Confident

When I was living it up in my single days, I once dated a guy that I was set up with at a wedding.

When I say "set up" with at a wedding, I mean -

I was attending a friend's wedding in another city, he saw me, liked what he saw and found a mediator who introduced us and then we took a walk around the hotel the wedding took place at.

So - I was LITERALLY set up at a wedding.

In any case, we only had so much time to spend together at the wedding and then I was off to Chicago.

He was actually not from that other city either, but was from somewhere in another Country.

After I arrived back to Chicago he called me and continued to call me on and off for a couple of weeks. At this point he decided he would come to Chicago for Labor Day Weekend.



And because he did not know a soul in Chicago, he was intending to spend all that time with me.

First, I remind some of my readers that from Friday sundown until Saturday sundown, we keep the Sabbath.

We don't do much but attend Synagogue and eat large quantities of food in 2-3 meals.

We do not drive or use any electric equipment.

Therefore, dating over a weekend means there is a 24 hour period of remaining local, in your home or any other home you can get to via walking and pretty much one is allowed to read or have conversation with friends and family.

So you can imagine that dating over a Sabbath could be intense. That would be fine if I was spending that time with a man I have already been dating for a while, but this was to be our first dating experience. I did not really know the guy yet in social situations.

I had to find a place for him to stay (within walking distance) over the Sabbath, as it would be inappropriate for him to sleep at my house.

I had him stay at a home of another friend who had attended the same wedding, so at least he could stay somewhere with someone he had met who was similar in age. Although he would be eating both Friday night and Saturday lunch meals at my home.

He was a good looking, clean cut, articulate man and I will give him a fake name just to make this post easier.

Let's call him Joe.

Joe was extremely polite, intelligent, self-confident, learned (in Torah and secular topics) and displayed his knowledge and all these other attributes when in my home and in the presence of my parents.

My parents, in turn, were very impressed by him, especially since Joe threw himself into a situation that is not typical for a "first time" dating experience, and did not let it phase him.

I myself saw all these qualities in him, however, I must have had some reservations about Joe because I did not want to spend the entire Saturday just sitting across from him and gazing in his eyes.

This was Labor day weekend - so it was still summertime. Which means the sun did not set until late at night. Which meant, there was nothing for us to do together, BUT, gaze in each others eyes as we spoke about this, that, and the other thing.

So after lunch I told Joe I could really use a nap and after a few hours I would walk to my friends house and we could hang out there.

He reluctantly agreed.

I did this for two reasons.

One, I previously mentioned and two - so I could spend time with him away from my parents and in addition, in the company of friends and peers.

I wanted to see him in a completely different social environment, and I am smart that way.

And so after a few hours of rest, I walked to my friend about 8 blocks away as I said I would.

And it was only a matter of minutes that I noticed his sarcasm. Sarcasm typically does not bother me as I am very sarcastic myself. However, his sarcasm came at the expense of my friends in their home. These were people he hardly knew. And even after my friend shared that he did not appreciate his humor, Joe continued to let his sarcasm slip into criticism and downright insults.

At some point I gently let him know that his sense of humor was not appreciated by EVERYONE and he started to revert back to the Joe who was at my home mere hours earlier.

We still spent time together Sat night. And almost all Sunday we continued dating. And then came Monday ....

Most moments were okay, even some that were great, but there was that little voice nagging me that told me something was not quite right.

Either way, I felt it was okay enough to keep dating but it wasn't like I had to decide to marry the guy just yet. OR SO I THOUGHT!!!

Monday night Joe was planning on returning to his Country of origin, but at 3 pm we were sitting on the steps of the Museum of Science and Industry, having a snack, when he decided to be pretty forthright.

Joe: So you ready to come to {his Country} and meet my parents?

Me: Is that your way of asking me to come to {his Country} to continue dating you?

Joe: No, meeting parents usually indicates that an engagement is taking place.

Me: (foncused) Engagement?

Joe: Well I know what I WANT when I see IT and I figure that we should just make it official.

Me: (in my mind) WTF???? (Out Loud) Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

Did he just say what I think he said?

He just referred to me as an "IT", an object he "WANTS" like he just went to the Museum souvenir shop and said, "I want that." as he points to a Model of a submarine.

One intense weekend makes this guy think I am ready to don a white dress and meet him at the end of a long, very very long aisle.

And in addition, do you call that a proposal???

Well, I pretty much told him that I was not ready to meet his parents and he was moving just a bit too quick there, Mr. Speedy Gonzalez.

I don't remember exactly how we left it, but it was something along the lines of, you can still call me and we can continue this and see where it leads, but I won't make decisions about a future with you just yet.

I came home and shared my initial conflict and reservations with my parents about Joe, but they were dumbstruck.

All they saw over the weekend was enough for them to call him "son" and they encouraged me not to close the door completely just yet.

I do not remember the exact proximity of Labor Day to Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Years - typically falls out sometime in September or October), that specific year, but we continued to converse by phone all that time.

However, his phone calls to me were getting very frequent and he was very interested in why I was not always available to take his call, etc... etc...

Because of Nursing School and the upcoming holidays, I could not yet take a trip to his home. I occasionally conversed with my parents about how intense I felt he was and how I thought I should just end the relationship, but my parents had been way too impressed by him and did not want me to close the door altogether, but just ask that he slows down, maybe does not call so often...

I had already explained to Joe that he was a bit intense and he had enough charming qualities that he needn't be, and that he should slow down somewhat. At first he agreed to my request, but then the phone calls picked up again. And he wanted to know what I was up to every moment of every day.

Finally, just before Rosh Hashana was to begin, Joe called me to wish me "Happy Holidays" and we spoke for a few moments and I think he would have spoken longer, but I had to get off the phone and prepare for a holiday that is similar to a Sabbath. I had to get things done that we are not allowed to do once the holiday begins - like shower and dry hair, iron clothing ....

No more than 5 minutes after hanging up the phone, Joe called again.

I'm not sure if it was the fact that the "New Year" was about to begin, a time when we reflect on life and pray for good things (such as marriage) to come, that he picked this specific moment, but he pretty much gave me an ultimatum.

He said he does not know how to be slow and he does not feel the need to drag out something he is certain about...


And then it hit me, what has been bothering me all along.

He doesn't truly care about what I think. He does not care if I am certain or not. He does not care about the feelings of my friends. He wants what he wants when he wants it. Yes, he packaged up his controlling nature in a pretty little package of charm, good looks, intelligence, impressing parents... but I saw through him.

And so I said, well then, I guess we are done.

Great way to start a new year.

I was actually relieved. He was stupid enough to give me an ultimatum. I am not sure if his narcissism is what made him think I would cowardly fall for his ultimatum, but I was smarter than that. Aren't those controlling types supposed to go after the weak and vulnerable girls. I guess he picked the wrong chick.

My parents never got over the fact that I did in fact CLOSE THE DOOR, because they never got the chance to see what I saw.

In fact, even after I met and became engaged to Hun, my mom would still throw out how disappointed she was that I let that one go. I think she has even mentioned it since I have been married. And it's not like she is not impressed with my husband. I'm pretty sure she loves Hun more than me and is often wondering why HE decided to marry ME. But she fell for the charade that Joe put on.

Why do I bring any of this up today???

Well, because it has come to my attention that Joe is divorced. He was controlling and possibly abusive to his wife. And I use the word "divorced" lightly, because his wife is still waiting for the "Get" (something a Jewish man must give his wife in order for the marriage to actually be considered dissolved. Without it, she can NOT re-marry). Just his way of remaining controlling of her, I guess. My heart goes out to her.

But I am very proud of the Orah I have become. After high school we girls go to learn for a year in Seminary in Israel. I had a rough year there (which you can read about if you find my post called "the non year long year in Israel" - which I am too lazy to link). Let's just say, that there is a pre-Israel Orah and a post-Israel Orah. The pre-Israel Orah may have succumbed to my parents encouragement and constant oversight of my own feelings and my own thoughts and opinions on any topic of interest to my life. But the post-Israel Orah has learned to follow her own gut and make piece with her decisions.

I don't even have regrets, when in retrospect, I may have made the WRONG decision. But in this particular case, I am grateful I have grown confident in myself.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Thanks For Nothing






Shall I keep it?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Anyone Have A Project For Me?

Since the end of August I had been rehearsing for a play. Last week we completed all four of our performances.

I am currently training for another half marathon. This one includes requesting contributions for an organization that provides services to unwell children and their families.

Two nights ago, 3 ladies and I went sledding at 10 pm at night sans CHILDREN. We were probably wearing a collective, 80 layers of clothing amongst us as it was single digit temperatures.

I have been contemplating the idea of hiking the Grand Canyon - 10 mile hike, to one of the most beautiful waterfalls on the face of the earth.

I am preparing for a trip to LA in the beginning of January that requires searching for clothing that looks as if it costs a few hundred (or thousands) when in reality it was purchased for nada. That is what happens when you go to a VERY wealthy relative's wedding. (Trust me, this takes much effort on my part).

I am working on my memoirs........

Okay - I totally made that last one up.

What is wrong with me? Have I become a "Desperate Housewife"?

As soon as I complete a project, I am searching for another.

I need a nap.

Monday, November 15, 2010

How To Turn The Tables On A TSA Pat Down

Well I obviously don't want to leave you all with that last post for too long because it's just way to indicative of the poor, pathetic Orah.

And I am not sure how it was received because, frankly, not one of you who read it left a comment.

So, moving on.....

How about our very "FRIENDLY" TSA agents???

I was starting to worry that we were becoming a populace too unfriendly and hands off.

I'm so happy to see we are opening up to the idea of becoming touchy/feely all over again.

And it's great to see that terrorism has not taken from us the one thing they were trying to ...



Because at least, the TSA agents feel very free to touch our "junk" and fondle our "ta-tas".

The fact that I can now always feel FREE to say, while traveling by air,
"Excuse me, but would you mind, while you're up there, scratching my left ovary, kinda itching..."

is so something I never expected to say awesome.

I feel liberated.....

and FREE.

If you don't know what I am talking about (oh yeah, I have been watching/reading SOME news again - but only the kind that amuses me) the very INTIMATE pat down procedure via TSA has become extremely apparent as both flight crew and passengers are making a point of being vocal about it.

In the meantime, my heart palpitations and anxiety have begun as I am due to travel in early January as well as at the end of January via air.

Not everyone has to expose themselves to the extremely affectionate pat downs.

Nope - those pat downs are only for the people who "opt-out" of EXPOSING their "junk" and "ta-tas" in all its purely formed glory to the TSA agents holed up with readily available imaging in some room down the hall by refusing to stand in one of the strip search machines body scanning machines.

I already know I am going to be an "opt-out".

1. I don't trust the TSA when they say "no images will be recorded" (it actually has already happened)

2. I don't trust the TSA when they say "it's minimal x-ray and not hazardous to health"


I am sure I will not find a too close for comfort, pat down to be a necessary replacement for the "booty baring machine", nor will I find it comfortable. But I figure I could make it more uncomfortable for the TSA agent (same gender) if I begin to groan pleasantly in a "very familiar" way.

I may add to that with a little
"ooh - right there ... that's it...."

Or I may throw out a line like,
You may want to wash your hand now and get some shots, there are not ENOUGH gloves for your hand to keep you from getting what I got...."

just to shake things up a bit.

If the aforementioned ideas of mine make you uncomfortable just reading it, imagine how the TSA agent will feel.

I mean, why should I be the only one who is going to feel uncomfortable.

But what really began to scare me was the idea that they could pat down my child. This makes my stomach turn.

We lock up any random adult for touching a child even more minimally than TSA would, so how could we allow such grossly intimate pat downs of a child.

They have been doing pat downs of children thus far.

TSA Screener Accosts 3 Year Old Child at Security Checkpoint

Oh - don't bother clicking on that. Youtube had to remove the video because some "Tribune" copyrighted it.

But I saw the footage today and this child was screaming, "don't touch me, don't touch me, I don't want them touching me..." and her mother just stood there helpless.

This child can be traumatized for life just as any child who undergoes uninvited "touch" typically becomes.

TSA administrator, John Pistole was interviewed on the Today Show defending TSA's screening practices and touting their "sensitivity" to passengers during pat downs.

He also said that TSA will no longer be doing pat downs on children under 12.

A) Where the hell did he get the number 12 from. Did someone pull it out his ass during his recent cavity search? My understanding is that anyone under the age of 18 is a minor in any other wretched circumstance. If someone molests anyone under the age of 18 it is considered "an offense against a MINOR" Oh - and the best time to decide to start pat downs on non-adults, is probably just around the time they are going through puberty. Because that is when they are MOST secure about their bodies and they want to share it's development with strange TSA agents.

B) As I already mentioned, I DO NOT TRUST TSA!!! Just because it is on record that TSA administrator, John Pistole said pat downs are NOT done on children under 12, does not mean that when I am most vulnerable, standing at that checkpoint at TSA's every whim, they will not demand of me that my children 8 and under undergo pat downs. Because I have little faith in TSA, I have been looking for the "rules" to print out. If you go to the official Government TSA site, you will not find written ANYWHERE, the age at which children can and can not undergo pat downs. So in the meantime, I am printing out EVERY article related to John Pistole's quote "children under 12 will not be pat down". Because I can not bear to watch my children being fondled by strange adults.

I hope to G-d that come January the TSA will learn that no matter how they try to thwart terrorism, the terrorists will be one step ahead of us.

Because neither the VIRTUAL strip search machines, nor the pat downs can reveal any weapons hidden in .... ahem, ahem .... cavities (not the teeth kind), it's only a matter of time that a terrorist loads his "whooha" with ammunition, and incendiary devices and then ....

security check at the airport will get a whole lot more fun ....

"Ladies to the left, men to the right, step through the machine please, drop trou and bendover..."

Pretty much we are all getting F*$#@& anyway - so may as well.

Ladies and Gentlemen -

Welcome to the "OVERLY FRIENDLY skies"!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

What Tears Do To A Computer

Ok. I'm gonna write one. But you probably won't like it and won't ever come back to visit. It's not going to be a fun one.

Why have I not been writing???

I've been depressed.

Before you get yourselves all worried over me (because I'm sure you all spend every waking moment thinking of only ME...) I will have you know that I am NOT clinically depressed.

I'm not on any medication or seeking any therapy. I'm fully aware of when I go through a funk. My creativity gets swallowed up by clouds of endless emotion. This is what happens when you are a person with an overwhelming sensitive soul.

In addition to my sensitive soul, I make matters worse by being a person so complacent over worldly events. Once I hear a bit of bad news, whether it's generic to the world's population or hits extremely close to home, it eats away at me and eats away at me and eats away at me until I am like a wet noodle - STUCK to whatever is thrown my way.

I have been trying to curb my usual addiction to news and media, via periodicals, TV or Internet, so believe it or not, I have been "logged on" a bit less lately.

But I apparently have to surrender, much to my reproach, to the news that comes my way via my own community.

Too many people sick and dying.

What else is new?

What's so different this time?

It's hitting close to home.

My parents are losing friends which has me facing certain realities that I am not ready, and frankly, too afraid to face.

My husband has an extremely sick aunt. She is currently in a "good" place. It's "good" because instead of dying with cancer, she is currently living with cancer.



My mother-in-law (G-d bless her, and I love her immensely) has practically given her life to taking care of said, sick aunt, (who lives in another state)while continuously caring for a handicapped child who is 23 and totally capable of learning independence, when she should be spending these formative years traveling with her husband, visiting grandchildren in other states and countries, and frankly, anyway that suits her dreams and interests.

This aunt, by the way, is only in her early 40's and had her seventh child just a few months before my Bam was born. But her own parents live in her neighborhood. And so my MIL claims she is really there for her brother (the cancer stricken aunt's husband). My MIL returned home last week supposedly for good. But then ran back out there because her handicapped son who is supposedly learning independence, came down with the flu. Who is going to take care of my brother-in-law when my MIL no longer can?

Don't think I have not been thinking about the answer to that question. That is all I have been thinking about amongst other equally worthwhile hypothetical situations that (hopefully no time soon) will one day become quite apparent in my family circle.

In the meantime, it certainly doesn't help that my own husband has a recent diagnosis of "something" that is exacerbated by stress, and flare ups can be thwarted by exercise.

Uh, allow me to introduce you to my workaholic of a husband.... Stress is what happens when you are spread so thin because you are really working the job of six people. The irony is, if he had those six people, that is when he would actually have time to STOP and hire six people. And if he had the time to SLEEP, he might actually have the time to exercise.

So the fact that the Doctor told us that my husband is at higher risk for a certain cancer because of his recent diagnosis, that doesn't at all throw another wrench into my already existing state of bliss and calm.

All I can do is





And the damn tears keep shorting out my computer.

So who could blog without a computer?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Hiring Out!

Anyone want a really cute 16 month old to come over and reorganize their pantry???

I have someone for you.

You can pay him in etzels, ackus, or oockies.

But don't forget to read the fine print.

We who employ said 16 month old child are cleared of all responsibilities related to incomplete jobs and food items scattered around your house, etc ... etc ... etc...

Please contact us through the comment section.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Because I Need To Blog SOMETHING

I had a bizarre dream last night...

Oprah Winfrey had an audience full of women suffering infertility and at the end of an hour long tear jerkier of a show she had a surprise...



I woke up in a cold sweat. I can't believe Oprah is giving away babies.


Ro is quite shrewd. She somehow managed to come home from school with money that she did not have when she left to school.

She was showing off her conquest to So in the evening and placed her dollars and coins on the kitchen table.

Ro turned away for a few moments and when she looked back she was uncertain if her collection of money was still the same value it was moments ago.

Ro - "So, did you take a dollar from me?"

So - "No."

Ro - "Are you sure?"

So - "Yes!"

Ro - (with a conniving look on her face)
"Do you want to give me a dollar anyway ....... just in case?"

Monday, September 13, 2010

Kids HEAR & REPEAT The Darndest Things

I am not kidding when I tell you that the following conversation took place as I was putting So and Ro to bed.

Me - Goodnight.

So - Mommy, I really don't find this pillow comfortable because when I put my head on it my head sinks all the way down like it's just laying on the bed and like there is no pillow at all.

Me - That is why you have another pillow with a sham on your bed. Put the sham covered pillow underneath and then it won't feel so flat.

So - Or Mommy, you could buy that special pillow that never gets flat and has a special space in the middle for your head and it remembers your shape.

Me - (dumbfounded) So, those pillows are very expensive.

So - No they aren't, just 19.99.

And for the special limited time, TV offer it's 17.99

And if you call and order in the next 10 minutes they will throw in another pillow free

That's a 40 dollar value for just 17.99 Mommy.

Me - with this look on my face -


When did PBS and Sprout become more like the QVC and Home Shopping Network??

I mean, they still are ONLY watching PBS and Sprout ....


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Happy New Year - Jewish Style

I have not been back to blog. I am mostly still waiting for Ate to go back to school which happens Monday. But I have also been sick for 3 weeks and I wasn't getting better.

I started having pain on the left side of my face and figured it's probably a sinus infection.

I just started me some anti bi otics...

And I will spare you what is now, FINALLY, draining from my sinus passages.

At least I can nix that Dentist appointment (which would have been my next try due to the tooth pain, which was really sinus pain).

Green is sooooo NOT my favorite color.

Tonight is Rosh Hashana - the Jewish New Year.

Time to pray and reflect....

as much as I can in between nose blowing and tissue reaching and


Monday .... just around the corner, just around the corner, just around the....

Sorry, tissue reaching and nose blowing...

Happy New Year to my Jewish friends and Sweet Wednesday to all my other friends.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010




I'm getting there ..... I'm getting there!!!

Girls off to school today. (Ate has a few more days)

We are tooting our horns ...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I ... WANT ... TO ..... BLOG ....

NEED .... TO .... BLOG ...



MUST .... FIND ... TIME...

I .... NEEDED ... THIS .... QUICK .... FIX....

WILL .... BE .... BACK ..... SOON!!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

It Can Change On A Dime

This is not the way I expected to return to my blog, but my blog is a place to RELEASE my feelings and that is what I need to do.

I was having a really great summer. I was focusing on the joy of being a mother. I have been spending time outdoors with children, with children and spouse, with spouse, alone, becoming one with nature, with my thoughts, reflecting.

I did not really spend last summer so invested in "moments", as I was busy taking care of a newborn. And when taking care of a newborn, one loses track of time. Each day seemed to end and begin at the same moment and time became blurred. There was only sleep to dream and rejuvenate. Any time to reflect was absent. Even as a good friend lost a beautiful young child, suddenly, I could only reflect until my own newborns cries would pull me away from my thoughts.

This summer I have four children who are more predictable and I am able to "schedule" moments to spend. And it has been joyful.

And then suddenly and unexpectedly -


There is no explanation, and certainly none that would suffice.

Moshe Menora was a contributing member, not only of our community, but of society as a whole.

I did not know him extremely well, but my parents knew him better. He, along with his wife have three children.

Miriam and Kelly were in school with two of my sisters and my family knows the son Shalom as well.

Kelly lives in a neighborhood in Israel where my sister who attended school with her lives and they share in each others celebrations and events.

I had been to Israel last summer and two summers before that, each time my sister made a Bar Mitzvah and their family was in attendance. I would see their family whenever I was in Israel, including their beautiful daughter Sara. She was on the plane as well.

Also on the plane were 3 of her cousins. Rikki and Racheli did not survive. Yossi (Netanel Yosef ben Simcha Sima) needs our prayers as he fights to recover from burns over 50% of his body.

The truth is, one does not need to know this family on ANY level in order to feel the impact of this most tragic event. I have heard stories of the like, unfortunately, all over the news and immediately, the coldness envelopes your body and you can only ask, "why"?

But this specific story obviously hit my own community with an intense breeze of eeriness.

Even I did not feel the "eye" of the storm until I realized, when attending the funeral, that I was attending a funeral for four family members at one time.

Who does that?

Who finds themselves at a funeral for four people at one time?

It's so far beyond what is supposed to be NATURAL to this world.

The human being was not built with the equipment to comprehend this sort of travesty.

We can try all we want, but we can not wrap our little human brains around it.

There are people involved who lost a parent and children in one day. A woman who lost a husband and precious grandchildren in one swift moment. Children who lost siblings and a beloved Grandfather in one fell swoop. And so on.

It's unconscionable.

The funeral was emotional, moving, draining, abounding with attendees spilling out the door into the street.

Everything said can resonate with someone in that room.

And then, to hear "Kel maley rachamim" (Prayer for the deceased) said FOUR times in a row, once for each of the departed, brought chills to my spine and made the room seem to shudder.

We will never have the answer to the obvious question of,


But each one of us can come to our own determination of what lessons we should walk away with. And we can each prevail by choosing to live our lives in a way that will honor those who can no longer live life for themselves.

I am grateful that I was able to spend my summer wrapping myself in moments of blessing given to me by my Husband and children, and I will continue to do so.

Life is so fragile.

It can change on a dime.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Call Child Services, I Dare You

The fact that I am writing this post at this very minute, very clearly implies that I am neglecting and utterly ignoring my children.

I have to explain to them that my blog is like a baby. And this baby, much like them, requires attention and nurturing from time to time. My poor blog baby is looking a bit malnourished and tenuous lately.

My lack of blogging also means Mamma has had lack of many happy hours as of late.

Let's backtrack in time,
shall we???

I forced myself happily took it upon myself to train for another half marathon. My training began the day after passover. Between the beginning of February and Passover in April, I was spending every waking moment preparing for aforementioned Holiday. Before that, I was training from November of 2009 until January 31 2010, when I ran my first half marathon and before that I pushed out a nine pound three ounce bundle of joy to add to my collection of three other bundles of joy.


So, two Sundays ago, I ran my second half marathon and I am proud to say, (while my time still sucks) I did shave off 13 minutes from my first half marathon to my second.


(Nevermind my post race puffy look. I retain much fluid after 13.1 miles)

I actually recovered much quicker from this race than last. I only was walking like I just got off a horse for a few days as opposed to the 6 weeks of practically all out hip RE - location (no not dislocation) that I felt last time. Yes, last time my left hip felt like it had packed up and moved down south.

I thank my new found Chiropractor for that. As well as my massage therapist.

In fact, I felt so good after this last race, I was able to get my groove on later that night with my running friend (in the above picture) at a Sheryl Crowe concert.

So I was finally looking forward to a Sunday that did not involve kids swim lessons and myself taking off to run more miles than any human should run at one time, but of course that Sunday of pure rest and relaxation would have to wait.

My friend Rayli made a Bat Mitzvah at 11:30 in the morning, 45 minutes away from my house. It was a really fun and exciting and Beautiful Bat Mitzvah, (you hear me Rayli?) but it did not factor into my Sunday so well. I was making a birthday at 3:30 for Ate and Bam in my parents backyard that required pool inflating and hose configuring and water filling.

I had to get out of bed on a Sunday at 7:30 am (which I should consider a treat, since the previous Sunday I had to wake at 3:45 am to get to my race) but I am not really a morning person.

I drove to my parents with a crapload of stuff (it's times like these I wish I had a backyard) including one older kiddie pool that I surprisingly discovered was NOT placed into a black garbage bag after last years use, before it was placed under my deck for the winter. CRUDDY, can not even begin to describe it.

So there I was at my parents thinking it will all go smoothly. Then I realized they had no outdoor outlet for my pump to inflate the pool. So I had to find the nearest outlet to the backdoor, which had the pump literally being pulled right up to the screen door. I inflated that cruddy pool and two other pools. I was hoping that my newer pool would fill while I cleaned the crud up, but that would be too easy.

My parents hose did not reach from the water line all the way to the backyard, but it did reach the deck. So I spent 20 extra minutes, pulled from thin air and scrubbed that crud with dish detergent and rags and only became ever so slightly SATURATED and SOAKED with water.

I was running waaay behind and still needed to pick up the cake, some balloons and drinks. Oh, but first I had to go back home and get my hose to attach to my parent's hose to fill the damn pools, so the water would be warm for the birthday.

My "set it and forget it" birthday was taking a bit longer to set.

I got home, failing to complete ALL my tasks, at 10:15. I showered, dressed and finally made it out to the Bat Mitzvah with Hun at 11:15. We arrived shortly after 12 and there was some mean dancing going on, which Rayli made me join so that I could make a total fool of myself. Thanks Rayli.

I had to leave by 1:30, which ended up being 1:40 (after I took the not yet open sweet table hostage - for my kids, of course).

The drive home, uhhhh, did not go so well.

All I'll say is that it included a wrong turn and cutting off a cop who was none to happy.

We did not get to our house until 3, and I had to grab the kids and paraphernalia and get in the car and GO!!!!

I still had the food to put out and one pool to finish filling and bubble supplies and water guns to open....

I never did sit down, I was constantly "setting it" and never really had a chance to "forget it".

The weather was great though.


The kids had a great time. They all agreed it was the best birthday party EVER! And then Ro asked with her sweet little voice, "can my next birthday be like this"?

Oh, poor, sweet Ro


Do 7 year olds ski?

Until we I cleaned up and got everyone home, fed, bathed and in bed it was 8:30 and I was spent.

Monday morning I woke up as if I had a bottle of Jack with some Rufies slipped in the night prior. I had such a birthday hangover and very little memory of what actually occurred, except the image of some sweet smiles and the sounds of incessant giggling.

And now I need to stop neglecting my children, so we are off to the pool.

And by pool, I mean the free one at my friends condo that I neither need to de-crud or inflate. Because that is the way I roll.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Wouldn't Horse Hair Itch?

They call this time of year, "Summer Vacation".

I'm sure my kids would agree with that term.

I however, refer to it as......


I'm exerting much energy I do not possess, to take care of children who obviously want and deserve a much more structured environment.


I could use a nap.

Maybe if I sleep, even for only a few moments, in this....

A MATTRESS AT $33,000???

A MATTRESS AT $33,000??

by Anjali Athavaley
Wednesday, June 16, 2010

provided by

Mary Pat Wallace, owner of Hastens' Chicago, poses on the Vividus ultra-luxe bed that retails for $49,500 (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Mary Pat Wallace, owner of Hastens' Chicago, poses on the Vividus ultra-luxe bed that retails for $49,500.

Made with horsehair, silk and gold, new bedding pushes prices sky-high.

All I can say is - that bed better friggin' DRIVE me somewhere beachy and blissful if I am going to spend 33, 000 on it.

And this is not even the most expensive mattress on the market.

At this point, I would curl up on a bale of prickly hay if it meant I could catch just a few re-energizing z's.


Do these people live in this universe?

Do they realize that there are people sleeping in cardboard boxes under trash and newspapers???

Oh, and I just realized that the picture included in this article is not even the 33,000 dollar mattress.

Noooooo, it's the more luxurious model retailing at 49,500.

And my husband is still without car because he is just coming to terms with how much those motorized modes of actual transportation cost.

Make that mattress FLY, and I just may consider it.

In the category of "stupid" this one is actually asinine.

For the love of extremely IMPOVERISHED humanity,


After that rant, I am further exhausted.

Good thing my lovely Mother In Law took the kids.

I'm off to my reasonably priced mattress.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Learn It Or Zip It!

I can think of about 20 topics I can blog about, being that I have not consistently blogged for some time now.

I can talk about the AMAZING Blackhawks win last night, but I will spare you (for now).

I can blog about my inconsistent, disrupted, non-existent 1/2 marathon training for a run that takes place in 3 days, but I will wait.

I should mention that my two boys have each recently celebrated birthdays. But I may find the time to blog about that when I also find the time to actually throw them a birthday party.

I might add that I have one lovely child who graduated from Kindergarten.

But let me ask you,
how have the past few weeks been for you?

For me?

Well I'm Jewish ..... so ...... not the best.

I don't really like to discuss politics, so I won't.

I do like History though.

I really wish some people would just take the time to learn Jewish History.


And all your ignorant defenders.

For everyone who wants the Jews to get out of "Palestine", and stop the "occupation" of the Palestinians, and send the Jews back to their "homes" in Poland and Germany, just take a few minutes a day and study Jewish history.

Humor me!

Just come back to me and tell me WHERE exactly the Jewish people's home is.

I'll start you off.

My dad was born in what was Czechoslovakia. His passport at one time said he was form Hungary. And now his passport says he is from the Ukraine. Although - all these places still seem to refer to the place he was born, where is he from?

Does it matter what his passport says...

Many Eastern European Jews only ended up there after being expelled from Spain.

Yes - LOTS of Jews lived in Spain.

But in 1492 when Columbus sailed the Ocean blue (oh, and pretty much opened the world's eyes to a New Land full of Native Americans who were themselves practically killed and removed to make room for Europeans) Spain decided they did not want Jews living there.

So many Jews went to Turkey, North Africa, Italy, Algiers, Egypt, Tripoli, Morocco, elsewhere in Europe .... you get the point. Many of these places took it upon themselves to be less then welcoming to Jews as well.

But how did Jews get to Spain in the first place?

That goes back to the Jewish Diaspora.

Romans conquered Judea and sent Jews as slaves to Rome. The theory is that Rome did much business with Spain and this allowed for Jews to end up in Spain.

But one point to highlight in the previous sentence is "Judea".

Judea would be Israel.

The Jews ended up there years and years earlier after being enslaved in Egypt, crossing a Sea, wandering through a desert, and watching the man that was leading them, Moses, pass away just before tasting the fruits of his labor ...... for his people ......

But if you ask most "Palestinians" today, especially the youth, they only know the past 43 years of history between the Jews and Arabs.

You can not understand today's evolving, explosive circumstances in the Mideast, without understanding where the conflict begins. And it begins in the Bible.

Abraham, the first of our forefathers, was married to Sarah, the first of our foremothers. She had a hard time conceiving and wanted Abraham to be a father. She was suffering infertility and she was pained by not being able to produce a child for Abraham. She asked Abraham to go off with his maidservant Hagar so she may conceive a child for him. She bore him a son named Ishmael.

After this, miraculously Sarah conceived in very old age and bore Abraham a son named Isaac. Isaac was chosen by G-d to be the son chosen to make a covenant between G-d and Abraham that He would be the Father of the Jewish nation via Isaac. Ishmael was promised to be the Father of other nomadic, wandering nations, most noted, Islam. The prophet Mohamed is a direct descendant of Ishmael.

Of course, all that is in the Old Testament and frankly, who reads that anymore????

Certainly not the guy at the end of this video.

I think most of these protesters have no idea what they are protesting.

I applaud the very brave boy who ALONE stood up to the slew of naysayers and misguided souls who took it upon themselves to make this a personal attack of this one boy, but they should learn some history before they go out in the streets.

The pro-"Palestinian" girl at the end also says something VERY telling. When all this time the Palestinians would have the world believe that they want PEACE, meaning a coexisting, side by side state of Palestine and Israel, she says the TRUTH!!!

It's the very few words of the last "pro-Palestenian" boy that really irk me. You want to come out and protest. At least do your friggin homework, or SHUT UP!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

To My Little Men

Dear Sons,

In the "FYI" category:

You do not need to keep YANKING, TUGGING, and GRABBING at "IT".

You do not need regular security checks.

You do not need to keep ascertaining that the thing is there.

It will not fall off.

I repeat ...

It will NOT FALL OFF!!!

It is attached.

Ate - there is no need to share "ITs" presence with us every time you leave the bathroom.

Bam - I would like to change your diaper in a timely fashion. Also I would like grandchildren one day and I don't think you know your own strength...

Just keep your hands above the belt please.

Especially in public.

Thank you.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Oedipus In My House

I am starting to believe in this "Oedipus Complex" lately.

The Oedipus complex, in psychoanalytic theory, is a group of largely unconscious (dynamically repressed) ideas and feelings which center around the desire to possess the parent of the opposite sex and eliminate the parent of the same sex.

The other day, Ate, my almost 4 year old son was pointing to me and saying, "you have a girl baby..."

I couldn't get the scenario as it was playing out, because he was not pointing to my belly, he was pointing higher up.

I asked,
"what do you mean?"

He repeated,
"you have a girl baby, hehehehe..."

"Ate, Mommy does not have a baby in her belly (it's just taking it's frigginly slow time getting over the last baby)."

Ate - pointing to my chest area,
"so what's that?"

Me - ever so vaguely,
"that is my chest."

Ate -
"hahah, no, it's your boobies... hahaha."


In the meantime, there is Ro...

Sunday evening Hun and I were getting dressed up to go attend a wedding.

Ro said to Hun,
"Aba (Daddy) you LOOK handsome."

(Guess Hun should take it wherever he could get it from)

Ro -
"Aba, can you spray that stuff that makes you SMELL handsome?"

For the record, when that "stuff" that makes him smell handsome was discontinued, I searched online for some of this rare "Fendi" cologne and bought the almost extinct cologne for a birthday gift just so my husband could continue to smell his handsome self.

It's either that or eu de smoked cheese.

The scary thing is, how many of us actually ended up "marrying" our opposite gender parent.

I totally did (unknowingly), and guess what, it's not a bad thing.

The surprise though, I also married my mother-in-law.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Like Dangling A Gem In Front Of A Thief

By now some of you may have seen or heard of a "controversial" video sweeping across the Internet of five, 7 year old girls, scantily clad dancing to Beyonce's song "Single Ladies".

I will not link it here because I absolutely abhor it. It is an atrocious and completely inappropriate display by children of that age competing in a dance competition.

The girls are wearing red and black lacy panties and bra like top and thigh high stockings. Everything else is exposed.

They are well choreographed and are all talented dancers, however, the choreography clearly has them gyrating and moving in such ways that are less than appropriate for 7 year old girls in a public forum.

When the parents started to hear they were being scrutinized, their response,

"there is nothing inappropriate about our girls dancing in a competition..."

So here is my question -

Have we become just that desensitized to what are appropriate social guidelines should be or are we just that plain STUPID???

Which one is it?

Either way, it's not a compliment.

These parents, and anyone who would allow that sort of display in a dance competition by girls that young is either desensitized by what has become the unfortunate "accepted" morals and values of our current generation, or just too stupid to realize what they are now contributing to in terms of the moral destruction of our civilization.

It does not matter if you have a religious edict that spells out what your moral beliefs should be. It has nothing to do with religion. As far as I am concerned, it is common sense.

In this frightening world full of perverts and pedophiles and overt sex that can even CONFUSE ADULTS, why the hell would you sex up your child like that?

It diminishes them.

In fact, their talent in dance was completely lost to me when my jaw dropped at the sight of their playboyesque lingerie and how far they could split their legs and how suggestively they could sway their hips.

And let me remind you, I am NOT a pedophile or a pervert. So if it was that blatant to me (and quite disturbing) just imagine what is going through the minds of all those perverts.

PEOPLE - our children are the most precious "things" to us. At least, they should be.

Would you dangle your priceless gems in front of a thief?

Why would you put your most precious item on display like that?

It boggles my mind that our society has become THAT desensitized.

I shudder to think how much worse it can get.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mazal Tov!

When Hun and I went to Miami this past January, with Bam, leaving behind the older three with my parents, we planned to bring them each a gift back home.

Due to some unfortunate weather, we did not have the time to look for some kitchy, "Florida" like souvenir as I originally planned. In fact, we did not exactly leave Miami with any gifts for the kids.

We did, however, stop at a CVS in Chicago on the way home from the airport. I mean, a CVS is a CVS, whether in Chicago or Florida, right?

I ran in, leaving Hun and Bam in the car and made a beeline for the toy aisle.

It took a millisecond to realize there was nothing interesting, so I grabbed 3 beenie babies that were ON SALE!!!

I got a dolphin for Ro, a dog for Ate and a penguin for So.

The penguin is where this story begins.

His name is Archie.

Apparently, a friend of So's has a penguin beenie baby as well.

Because of So's liberal imagination and constant need for new projects, on the heels of a very successful birthday party thrown for Archie in school, So has decided that her penguin, Archie shall marry E.'s penguin, Iceberg. I am not exactly sure if Archie and Iceberg are different genders or if my liberal daughter is conducting a same gender marriage, but at least it is not an inter species marriage.

The wedding has been planned for a while. This is good because it allows for E.'s mother to decorate some cookies for the event. So I have been told. So would like me to contribute some dum dum lollipops for the reception attendees, 14, seven and eight year old girls, that is.

I believe the ceremony is to take place during recess. I have also learned that my daughter has a husband (Archie's father) who happens to resemble another 8 year old girl in her class, who will be overseeing the ceremony. It seems she has been ordained as the first Female/Rabbi/Father of the groom...

Is this a bad episode of "Southpark" or something of the like...

I hope they hired a videographer and photographer because, sadly, I was not invited, even as the Grandmother of the groom ( so insulted). And I think this, obviously, unprecedented affair should be very well documented.


do I send the dum dums or not?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Anyone Have A Pitchfork???

I love my kids .... I love my kids .... I love my kids ... I love my kids...

I don't want to go bald, so I must stop pulling my hair out...

I am pretty sure my kids are just DONE!!! They are done with school, even though there are still a good 6-7 weeks.

ALL of them!!!

I would expect this from So. She was done with school by Winter break. She came back in January and decided to stop bringing her books home. I don't blame her. She would read her Hebrew studies out loud to me, without the book, by heart!!

She would go to school the next day and take five minutes and do whatever spelling and math workbook she had, during recess.

Considering the aforementioned, why should she bring her work home?

In fact, I would say she was done with Second Grade before she even entered Second Grade, but I don't want to take ALL the credit away from her teachers (whom I like, by the way).

Ate today just nonchalantly told me as we were entering his classroom,
"I rather just go back home..."

Oh really?


"Because I like my toys better."

He has a point. What will he gain in the next six weeks that he did not already get this year?

I don't need more projects and papers in my house. I keep them around until they are not looking, but I seriously have a fear, if I keep all of them it will lead me to become one of those crazy hoarding, cat ladies.

You know, the ones who can't walk through their home because of all the crap they hoard and there are at least ten cats and their excrement all over the house.

So, besides toy playing and project making and considering he has his letter and number recognition down, what's left. He can hold his pencil well, he holds scissors properly. He's all good. He can enter nursery next year.

And Ro, she actually still loves school. But it's mostly because she gets pizza and turkey subs for lunch. She was reading the books,
"Hop On Pop"
"Caps For Sale"

the other day.

She can read - so can we just call it a day and get this thing called "Summer" started already.

Oh, wait, I forgot.

Ro is spending the next 6 weeks preparing for her Kindergarten graduation.
I guess she needs to be in school for that.

So as the weather gets nicer and my kids go more stir crazy inside a school building learning more of things they already know, and come home and take out their frustration on each other and subsequently me, it begs the question,



Stick a fork in me,

because I am definitely done.

I am so done, it may need to be a pitchfork.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Things You Don't Realize Until The Letter Arrives

(If you did not read my last post you may want to start there...)

Something funny has been going on with my mail lately. I receive invitations to many community functions as well as all the regular bills and junk mail, but most recently I had not received two invitations (that I know were sent to me) for private celebrations.

One was a Bat Mitzvah

and the other is an upcoming wedding of a classmate of mine.

I just saw the bride herself at a shower we classmates made for her and everyone was just getting the invitations in the mail just prior to the weekend. Well as of yesterday I still did not receive mine.

However, I did find another card which I knew could not have been processed in the mail until this past Monday, the earliest. that means it was mailed out Monday and I received it Tuesday. Which begs the question,


Anyway, I knew this card was not mailed out until Monday because it referred to an incident that happened Sunday (which is why you should read my last post).

This was certainly not something I was expecting and I also did not expect the response I had towards it.

The cover of the card had the words "Thank You" written all over it in different fonts, and the handwritten note on the inside went like this -

Dear Orah,

How do you thank someone for saving your life?!
I am so grateful to God for placing you in my path today.
Your immediate care and concern made me feel safe during what was a very vulnerable time for me.
I'm so impressed with the way your children were beautifully well-behaved while you helped a stranger.
If ever there is ANYTHING you think I could do for you, PLEASE don't hesitate to call me!
Thank you so much!
(phone number enclosed)

"Saving your life"?????????????

It was not until she wrote those words that I even remotely considered that I possibly saved someones life.

And so when I saw those words, I burst out crying.

I am not sure why exactly, but I had to pick So up from gymnastics and I just walked out with the card in my hand and got in the car, drove off, pulled the car over to wait for So at the same place where we were swimming on Sunday, and I just started bawling again like a baby.

I just did what needed to be done. Who thinks about what they are actually doing at the time?

It wasn't until the card arrived that I actually thought about what really occurred.

And then after I composed myself, I actually started laughing.

"Your children were beautifully well-behaved while you helped a stranger."

How did she have the presence of mind while she was in her compromised situation to notice how my kids were behaving???

And then for her to actually make a point of mentioning that to me....

I myself have no idea how my kids were behaving because I was pretty much ignoring them.

I would like to believe my kids are always well behaved (yeah right...) but truth is, they must have been behaving if I was able to focus all my attention on Anne during her crisis.

So I should thank them for that, I suppose.

I appreciate the note.

I spoke about the Hebrew term "Hashgacha Pratis" (Divine Providence), we also have a term in Hebrew called "Hakaras Hatov"
It's "recognizing the good" in someone and acknowledging it.

I appreciate that she acknowledged what I did (although I could have easily gone on with my life without the recognition from her), but I also realized I need to make a point of acknowledging my kids for how they waited patiently and allowed me the space and time to do what I needed to do.

So when they get home from school, that is just what I will do.

One small note in the mail, can go a distance not perceived.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Divine Providence

In Hebrew we have a term called

"Hashgacha Pratis".

It means

"Divine Providence".

Loosely translated - it's G-d's will.

On Sunday, Hun went out of town. Hun goes out of town often, here and there, but not typically on Sunday. I absolutely loathe when Hun travels away on Sunday.

Hun is an extremely hard worker. He works incredibly long hours and I appreciate it, but he is a workaholic.

I will not state outright on my blog what hours he is away, but I am a single parent when my kids wake and need to get ready for school and I am a single parent when they need supper and to be put to bed. So when Sunday comes around, that is my day.

NO! Not MY day for my selfish self. It's my day to get things done that I can not get to during the week because I am so focused on the children. Such things as, laundry, cleaning, hanging clothing that has been sitting in the laundry basket all weekend.... you get the point. I do however, NOT get out of bed until 9 am on Sundays.

My kids have swim lessons, so Hun takes the older three to the local community center, Bam goes in for his morning nap, and I get to work. After Hun returns, I leave him in the house with the kids and go out running. (I am currently training for another 1/2 marathon)

My kids have been taking swimming lessons for a few seasons already, and I can not remember the last time I was the one who took them. I had no choice this past Sunday, but to rearrange my day, let certain things go and reluctantly drag myself out of bed, way before 9 am.

I am not a morning person in the first place and even though I somehow manage every other day of the week, Sunday was tough.

So takes the first session of swim which starts at 10:15 and ends 11:15. I already arranged for a lovely friend to take her to that swim session to make it slightly easier on myself, and then I would meet her there with the other kids when she was done. I also had to take Bam with to swimming, which is not usually the case for Hun.

To make my morning more enjoyable, Ate decided to throw one of his "I don't want to swim" tantrums. He used to go swimming just fine and one week (with Hun) abruptly threw a tantrum at the pool, that many people were witness to, adamantly refusing to swim. Long story short, I think he was traumatized by one swim instructor who is less than warm and friendly. Leelah - the most amazing swim instructor who has been there for years, but teaches the stronger swimmers in the deep end, took it upon herself week after week to get Ate in the water, even wearing a life vest, in her group that Ro happens to be in. But it's still always a struggle with Ate.

So I said to Ate, who was screaming at an octave off the charts, that we would just pack his swim stuff up in case he changes his mind. His response,

So - we'll see how that works out.

Every Sunday I put the kids swim stuff together and pack another bag of some snacks so that while the kids wait for the other to complete the sessions they have what to snack on. Because Ro and Ate would not be at swimming until it was actually time for their lesson, I was about to forgo packing up snacks. But at the last minute, for some reason I changed my mind and quickly threw string cheese, pretzel rods, and a container of the baby's "fruit puffs" into a bag. I put diapers, wipes and a bottle with powdered formula and a bottle of water in my purse, got the kids in the car, and drove off in the pouring rain to swim lessons.

When we got to the locker room, Ro changed herself and I had to work on Ate a bit more. Babysteps - I kept thinking.

"Ate, how about we just get your swim stuff on, just in case..."

"Okaaaaaay, but I NOT GOING SWIMMING!"

I put his bathing suit on and we go to the pool. So is there and she goes to the locker room to change and decided to watch an indoor baseball game in the gym (rained IN, I guess).

When we get to the pool, Leelah sees Ate and says,

"Ate, why don't you get a life vest and come join us?"


So I say, as I coax him towards the hanging life vests,

"Ate, Mommy doesn't get to see you swim, I really want to see how you swim so nicely."


As I grab a life vest off the line, I notice one of the biggest cockroaches near a woman's foot and point it out to her. At this point she goes screaming and Ate can't get to the other side of the pool quick enough (which happens to be the deep end, where we needed to go).

Thanks to the (now smushed) cockroach, Ate decided it must be safer IN the water than out, and he has his life vest on and is with Leelah.

The duration of the hour had me sitting on a bench with the cutest naked baby (I removed his clothing due to the heat and humidity in the pool area), clapping, waving and cheering for Ate EVERY time he jumped in the water and swam, and occasionally to Ro as well, and also noticing one other woman there.

I knew who she was, from my community. She is a few years younger than me. I noticed her for a couple of reasons.

1) I knew she used to be extremely overweight and I noticed she was quite thin now.

2) She was wearing a turtleneck and leggings under a skirt at the pool and a heavy cap on her head and I was getting hot just looking at her. I was in a t-shirt and skirt with bare legs and a light bandanna covering my hair and I was sweating just from the humidity.

3) She seemed to have a look of concern on her face and kept changing her position, standing, sitting, squatting ...

But most of the time I was focused on the baby that would have liked to jump out of my arms into the pool, and the boy who was happily swimming - THANK G-D.

Swimming ended at 12:05 and I gathered Ro and Ate and went into the locker room to get them dressed. So showed up and was trying to hold Bam on her lap sitting on a very narrow bench, but I could see he was wiggling a lot, and tried to rush to dress the other kids so I could take him.

But I was interrupted by a woman. It was the woman who I noticed before, by the pool. I will call her Anne.

Anne approached me and asked me,

"Umm .... do you .... umm .... would you .... do you .... maybe .... have some .... umm ... food I could have?"

Right away I knew something was not right.

I did not see her child near her, I did not even know who her child was, boy or girl? Was he/she out of the pool?

She was diaphoretic (sweating profusely). Was that due to sitting at the pool in heavy clothing?

Her speech was slurred and slow. Does she always talk that way? Meaning, does she have some sort of mental/psychological break that causes her to speak this way?

Remember, I don't really know her.

"Are you okay?"

"I .... ummm .... I'm not sure."

She was not completely coherent.

I said,
"First of all, sit down."

I had her sit on the bench and lean her head down.

I grabbed my bag of snacks, the one that I was so close to NOT bringing with me, and handed her a pretzel rod.

I was concerned for her, but also her child, because I had not seen the child with her at this point.

After gathering all my information, including the fact that I knew she was once overweight and now was thin. She was sweating, pale, shaking and her eyes were fixed and she seemed to be just on the edge of some disorientation, I asked,

"Are you diabetic?"

She first responded,

"I always bring food ....... I brought some fruit ..... it's in my car."

"I think you might be having hypoglycemia."

"Yes," she said.

"Do you have a child here?"

"Uhh, yes ...... here, somewhere."

She was eating the pretzels at this point, and a boy walked up wrapped in a towel just then.

I asked him,

"Is this your Mommy?"

He nodded.

I did not want him to get scared so I just told him that his Mommy got very hot at the pool and she just had to rest for a moment.

At this time, many things were going on at once and I was beginning to feel pulled, but trying to focus on her.

So could no longer hold Bam, because he was wiggling too much, so I told her to put him on the floor. The locker room floor is not typically where you want to put your baby, but that was the least of my concerns right now. Ate and Ro still needed help getting dressed, and were asking for snacks as well. I also wanted to get her son's clothing and help him get dressed.

Another woman who had a child at the swim lessons had returned to the locker room and handed Anne a coke and then immediately walked away. This told me that Anne had already said "something" to this other woman that caused her to bring the coke. However, the fact that the woman just handed it to her and walked away meant that woman did not utilize the same skills I did to assess the situation as dire requiring someone to remain with Anne. Anne had no idea when she walked over to me that I was actually a nurse.

As Anne was eating the pretzel and drinking the coke, she became slightly more coherent and I asked her if there was someone for me to call, otherwise I would need to straight out call the paramedics. She called her mother, but I was not sure if she was actually getting the message across. She then said something about her father coming but she needed to call him. She dialed the phone and I spoke to her father telling him that his daughter could not drive herself and her son home at this time and the gist of what was going on. I told him I would help finish getting his Grandson changed and would get her upstairs to the door and stay with her until he arrived. He said he would be there in about five minutes.

I quickly finished getting everyone changed and Anne was well enough to stand up and get upstairs, where I sat her down. She was still weak but I was able to talk to her a bit more about the situation.

She told me that she used to have high blood pressure and high sugar and was overweight and she took Glucophage (diabetic oral medication) and lost a lot of weight. Her sugars came down but she was losing too much weight so the Doctors told her to stop taking Glucophage. Now her sugars were low and she had monitoring instruments (at home) and keeps her sugars stable only with diet (no insulin) and trys to eat regularly and take food, like fruit with her when she is out.

I asked her if this has happened to her before. She said it never happened to this degree. She asked me if being by the pool could have any influence. I said, the only thing that may make a difference is that the temperature by the pool along with your heavy dress may have caused you to burn more calories (like with exercise), and in that sort of situation you would need to be prepared to take in more sugar, to make up for the sugar burned.

I was still unclear about whether or not she was officially diagnosed as diabetic, or just hypoglycemic, but it seemed like she was unsure as well, and was never given enough information or education on the situation.

At this point I did tell her I was a nurse. I told her that because of her condition she should

a) Always carry her sugar testing instruments with her. In a situation like this, she should test her sugar, eat something and then test about 15 minutes later and log the information to bring back to her Doctor.

b) Always have the food, or juice on her being. It should not have been left in the car.

c) Get herself a bracelet that identifies her condition and wear it all the time. If I had found her passed out on the locker room floor and called the paramedics, no one would have known why she was unconcsious or how to immediately revive her. A bracelet would have told paramedics to test her sugar and they would have given her intravenous glucose injection which could easily revive her immediately.

d) she must call her Doctor immediately and have further testing and further education on her condition.

I also told her father all the previous information because she was still shaken and I could not be certain how much information she was taking in.

Her father asked her if this happened before and she also replied that it never happened to this degree. I told him that a few more minutes and I might have found her in "Insulin Shock" (she does not take insulin, but her low sugar would have caused the same effect). His response told me that he also did not have a clear understanding, because he told me that he thought it only happened to HYPERglycemics.

She said that she was starting to feel so lightheaded and had cloudy vision (halo effect - like seeing circles over your eyes). That typically happens just before someone passes out.

I was now comfortable leaving her with her father and I gathered up my kids and left.

I realized then - the "Hashgacha Pratis" (Divine Providence)

A) I am never, ever at swimming with my kids, Hun is the one who takes him, and obviously he would have been in another locker room and his lack of knowledge in this regard would have given him no input.

B) She could have walked up to anyone else in the locker room. In fact she did. And that person (only slightly helpful) walked away to get the soda without first making sure she was in a safe environment with someone else. And then returned with a soda, but only handed it to her and walked away without making sure she was going to remain okay. I know she was trying to be kind and helpful and did not know how dire the situation was. But even if I was not a nurse and did not recognize exactly what was going on, I still would not have left until I knew she was okay to potentially drive herself and her son, etc....

C) In the end though, it was me that she came to, and I was able to give her information that she needs so she does not end up in this predicament again. And if she G-d forbid does end up in the same situation, she needs a tell tale sign so that she would receive the proper help.

It was also not so convenient to have my kids standing around, but I realized that they, especially my older girls, had received a valuable lesson as well. That when we recognize someone is in trouble, we need to go all out to help them. And we need to make sure that EVERYTHING is okay before we walk away.

I have no doubt, that I was meant to be there, exactly when I was. And hopefully Anne will be safer in the long term for it.

But I am still going to send Hun back to do the swim lessons next Sunday.


Thursday, April 22, 2010

Attack Baby

Wow! Babies can be dangerous.

My nephew A. who is two months older than Bam is a biter. His siblings and anyone curious enough to want to hold or play with that little bundle of joy is forewarned.

My Bam is sweet as honey in nature. Suffice it t
o say, he wouldn't hurt any one of the 30 or so ants that keep crawling by my front door (unless you consider when he tries to eat one).

Having said that, his hands are .... how shall I put it ....

quite hazardous.

I feel as if I should wrap him in police tape,

"Warning, do not cross!!! DANGER DANGER!!!"

He will whack you in the face to see your response. He likes to grab your ears and try to rip them off. His nails seem to
grow back as soon as I cut them, more lethal than they were before. He likes to collect some of your skin beneath those lethal weapons. He practices his newly acquired pointing skills right in your eye. And his favorite victim is his unsuspecting sister Ro.

But having said all that, I would like to reemphasize

Bam is sweet as apple pie, by nature.

Although it may be more like sugar free apple pie.

"What, me trouble?"

Imagine if you will, any species of CAT. Laying in wait .... ready to pounce at any moment. Imagine as a small animal, maybe a rodent is near by. And just as it attempts to run past the cat....


A cute little paw, slams down on it's tail, taunting and terrorizing the small unsuspecting rodent.

Yep! That pretty much sums up this boy.

Bam is as sweet as pure sugar on a stick. But watch out for those cute, chubby paws.