Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Oedipus In My House

I am starting to believe in this "Oedipus Complex" lately.

The Oedipus complex, in psychoanalytic theory, is a group of largely unconscious (dynamically repressed) ideas and feelings which center around the desire to possess the parent of the opposite sex and eliminate the parent of the same sex.

The other day, Ate, my almost 4 year old son was pointing to me and saying, "you have a girl baby..."

I couldn't get the scenario as it was playing out, because he was not pointing to my belly, he was pointing higher up.

I asked,
"what do you mean?"

He repeated,
"you have a girl baby, hehehehe..."

"Ate, Mommy does not have a baby in her belly (it's just taking it's frigginly slow time getting over the last baby)."

Ate - pointing to my chest area,
"so what's that?"

Me - ever so vaguely,
"that is my chest."

Ate -
"hahah, no, it's your boobies... hahaha."


In the meantime, there is Ro...

Sunday evening Hun and I were getting dressed up to go attend a wedding.

Ro said to Hun,
"Aba (Daddy) you LOOK handsome."

(Guess Hun should take it wherever he could get it from)

Ro -
"Aba, can you spray that stuff that makes you SMELL handsome?"

For the record, when that "stuff" that makes him smell handsome was discontinued, I searched online for some of this rare "Fendi" cologne and bought the almost extinct cologne for a birthday gift just so my husband could continue to smell his handsome self.

It's either that or eu de smoked cheese.

The scary thing is, how many of us actually ended up "marrying" our opposite gender parent.

I totally did (unknowingly), and guess what, it's not a bad thing.

The surprise though, I also married my mother-in-law.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Like Dangling A Gem In Front Of A Thief

By now some of you may have seen or heard of a "controversial" video sweeping across the Internet of five, 7 year old girls, scantily clad dancing to Beyonce's song "Single Ladies".

I will not link it here because I absolutely abhor it. It is an atrocious and completely inappropriate display by children of that age competing in a dance competition.

The girls are wearing red and black lacy panties and bra like top and thigh high stockings. Everything else is exposed.

They are well choreographed and are all talented dancers, however, the choreography clearly has them gyrating and moving in such ways that are less than appropriate for 7 year old girls in a public forum.

When the parents started to hear they were being scrutinized, their response,

"there is nothing inappropriate about our girls dancing in a competition..."

So here is my question -

Have we become just that desensitized to what are appropriate social guidelines should be or are we just that plain STUPID???

Which one is it?

Either way, it's not a compliment.

These parents, and anyone who would allow that sort of display in a dance competition by girls that young is either desensitized by what has become the unfortunate "accepted" morals and values of our current generation, or just too stupid to realize what they are now contributing to in terms of the moral destruction of our civilization.

It does not matter if you have a religious edict that spells out what your moral beliefs should be. It has nothing to do with religion. As far as I am concerned, it is common sense.

In this frightening world full of perverts and pedophiles and overt sex that can even CONFUSE ADULTS, why the hell would you sex up your child like that?

It diminishes them.

In fact, their talent in dance was completely lost to me when my jaw dropped at the sight of their playboyesque lingerie and how far they could split their legs and how suggestively they could sway their hips.

And let me remind you, I am NOT a pedophile or a pervert. So if it was that blatant to me (and quite disturbing) just imagine what is going through the minds of all those perverts.

PEOPLE - our children are the most precious "things" to us. At least, they should be.

Would you dangle your priceless gems in front of a thief?

Why would you put your most precious item on display like that?

It boggles my mind that our society has become THAT desensitized.

I shudder to think how much worse it can get.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mazal Tov!

When Hun and I went to Miami this past January, with Bam, leaving behind the older three with my parents, we planned to bring them each a gift back home.

Due to some unfortunate weather, we did not have the time to look for some kitchy, "Florida" like souvenir as I originally planned. In fact, we did not exactly leave Miami with any gifts for the kids.

We did, however, stop at a CVS in Chicago on the way home from the airport. I mean, a CVS is a CVS, whether in Chicago or Florida, right?

I ran in, leaving Hun and Bam in the car and made a beeline for the toy aisle.

It took a millisecond to realize there was nothing interesting, so I grabbed 3 beenie babies that were ON SALE!!!

I got a dolphin for Ro, a dog for Ate and a penguin for So.

The penguin is where this story begins.

His name is Archie.

Apparently, a friend of So's has a penguin beenie baby as well.

Because of So's liberal imagination and constant need for new projects, on the heels of a very successful birthday party thrown for Archie in school, So has decided that her penguin, Archie shall marry E.'s penguin, Iceberg. I am not exactly sure if Archie and Iceberg are different genders or if my liberal daughter is conducting a same gender marriage, but at least it is not an inter species marriage.

The wedding has been planned for a while. This is good because it allows for E.'s mother to decorate some cookies for the event. So I have been told. So would like me to contribute some dum dum lollipops for the reception attendees, 14, seven and eight year old girls, that is.

I believe the ceremony is to take place during recess. I have also learned that my daughter has a husband (Archie's father) who happens to resemble another 8 year old girl in her class, who will be overseeing the ceremony. It seems she has been ordained as the first Female/Rabbi/Father of the groom...

Is this a bad episode of "Southpark" or something of the like...

I hope they hired a videographer and photographer because, sadly, I was not invited, even as the Grandmother of the groom ( so insulted). And I think this, obviously, unprecedented affair should be very well documented.


do I send the dum dums or not?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Anyone Have A Pitchfork???

I love my kids .... I love my kids .... I love my kids ... I love my kids...

I don't want to go bald, so I must stop pulling my hair out...

I am pretty sure my kids are just DONE!!! They are done with school, even though there are still a good 6-7 weeks.

ALL of them!!!

I would expect this from So. She was done with school by Winter break. She came back in January and decided to stop bringing her books home. I don't blame her. She would read her Hebrew studies out loud to me, without the book, by heart!!

She would go to school the next day and take five minutes and do whatever spelling and math workbook she had, during recess.

Considering the aforementioned, why should she bring her work home?

In fact, I would say she was done with Second Grade before she even entered Second Grade, but I don't want to take ALL the credit away from her teachers (whom I like, by the way).

Ate today just nonchalantly told me as we were entering his classroom,
"I rather just go back home..."

Oh really?


"Because I like my toys better."

He has a point. What will he gain in the next six weeks that he did not already get this year?

I don't need more projects and papers in my house. I keep them around until they are not looking, but I seriously have a fear, if I keep all of them it will lead me to become one of those crazy hoarding, cat ladies.

You know, the ones who can't walk through their home because of all the crap they hoard and there are at least ten cats and their excrement all over the house.

So, besides toy playing and project making and considering he has his letter and number recognition down, what's left. He can hold his pencil well, he holds scissors properly. He's all good. He can enter nursery next year.

And Ro, she actually still loves school. But it's mostly because she gets pizza and turkey subs for lunch. She was reading the books,
"Hop On Pop"
"Caps For Sale"

the other day.

She can read - so can we just call it a day and get this thing called "Summer" started already.

Oh, wait, I forgot.

Ro is spending the next 6 weeks preparing for her Kindergarten graduation.
I guess she needs to be in school for that.

So as the weather gets nicer and my kids go more stir crazy inside a school building learning more of things they already know, and come home and take out their frustration on each other and subsequently me, it begs the question,



Stick a fork in me,

because I am definitely done.

I am so done, it may need to be a pitchfork.