Not Me! Monday - Hell Of A Week

It's not me who had a hell of a week.

If there is someone who can not remember a thing that happened before Thursday, that person is certainly not me.

I was not a nervous wreck all week over So's recent tonsil surgery.

This anxiety of mine did not take the joy out of realizing new Ate"isms".

Some of my two year old's genius comments -

...telling the 50 something year old janitor at our local community center, after he unlocked the door and opened the light of the virus infested gently disinfected "baby gym" for us, "Thank you YOUNG MAN".

...referring to a really, really old bag of brown sugar as, "DEAD" because it was so hard he could not leave an indentation when he poked at it.

...telling his two sisters who were showering that he could "see their penis" and immediately offering them a lesson in what one actually looks like.

It is not my two year old son who needs lessons in biology and humility.

It is not me who actually had the presence of mind to think ahead enough to stock up on Wednesday, of all things crappy yummy and post tonsillectomy edible, such as, pudding, jello, whip cream, ice cream, and popsicles, in preparation of So's return home from surgery on Thursday.

It is not the SAME me who then had to run out after six hours of an emotionally draining Thursday morning to my local supermarket because I may or may not have had the presence of mind to actually get LIQUID Tylenol for So when I stocked up on all the aforementioned crap the day before.

Of course, Murphy's Law would not have me wandering around a supermarket, a few days before holidays, the day before a weekend, and a few hours before an impending, treacherous, ice and snow storm, because I kept thinking of more items I should maybe purchase besides the Tylenol. I was not then forced to choose a check out lane that stretched the "least" up the food aisles, taking a chance on how many people ahead of me would have problems with debit cards and scanning failures.

It did not finally occur to me after two months of the most annoying chirping sounds, that I might want to consider changing the batteries in five smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.

This epiphany of mine was not in preparation of the current holiday that has us lighting a multitude of flimsy candles every night for eight nights straight.

That actually would be the only reason if some (parental type) people living in my house did not leave the toaster oven turned all the way up on broil instead of toast causing flames to shoot out of two pieces of bread.

By the way, why does one little candle cause my smoke detectors to emit the nastiest shrieking sound, but smoke billowing through my kitchen does not register for over five minutes. This is not at all disconcerting.

And why, as I write this is the smoke detector right outside my bedroom, of course, still chirping after a second attempt at installing a brand new battery.

It is not the insanity inducing, sounds of failing smoke detectors, -20 degree windchills, snow and my oldest child's raw and slowly healing throat that has me throwing my hands up in the air and offering up ice cream for breakfast, jello for lunch and popsicles for dinner to everyone.

Well, no one says it has to be a "Hell of a Week" for everybody.

What kind of week was it for all of you?