Monday, December 15, 2008

Not Me! Monday - It's All About The Food!

This entire last week of mine, did not entirely revolve around food.

I did not have a Doctor's appointment in the beginning of the week and literally cover my eyes when I stood on the scale. Why would I need to do that when I would not have been able to see the number read out anyway, since it is located at my feet and I can no longer see my feet.

I did not respond with a very surprised, "REALLY?" when the Doctor came in and said my weight gain is good and right on track.

I am not conducting a study to prove that "eating for two" only refers to these two things growing on my chest, and in ADDITION to those, I am growing a baby. So I must be eating for four?

I did not stop after my Dr's appointment, once again, to a closely located restaurant so I could stuff my face. While waiting for my food, I was not transfixed on an odd accident that took place right across the street, causing one car to hit a pole, and another car carrying a u-haul to plow into two parked cars in a Walgreens parking lot. It was not after I drove away with my FOOD, careful to avoid the fire trucks, police cars and ambulance that I was reminded I am a nurse, and maybe should have gone to see if I could have helped. I did not forget this vital piece of information because the power of food is overwhelming.

While I still crave for more comments on my blog, I would never take for granted that somehow, this week my Facebook statuses stati???? invited between 25 and 41 comments. These Facebook stati???? were absolutely, not at all about tater tots and Oreos, among other food items.

I have not been buying out my local supermarket of all things sweet and all things salty just so I can keep a stockpile in my house of all possible craving relieving food items in case a winter storm shows up stranding us in our home.

I have not become so clich`e, that I have been eating five dill pickles in one sitting and half a jar of olives. My mouth has not JUST begun to salivate, that is so gross.

I did not just wolf down a hamburger and fries in under ten minutes, and if I did, I certainly did not make that little bit of information, my Facebook status tonight, because I can not possibly be that pathetic.

I do not feel a little better now that my husband has shared with me some vital information from the book "A Child Is Born" (which he re-reads every time I am pregnant to remind himself that Mommy has a reason for being a moody, food hording wench). He did not take the time to read and let me know that at this point in pregnancy, a baby is doubling itself in size in about one weeks time.

Really, how do I explain every other week I was stuffing my face?

I do not feel like sleeping with a bag of mesquite crunchers under my pillow and installing a freezer in my bedroom so I do not lose any valuable ice cream time.

I am not going to be kicking myself in a few months when I have gained 40 lbs and realize I am NOT, however, DELIVERING a 40 pound baby. Seriously, can the baby not take the other 32 pounds with it on the way out.

It is NOT ME, who is lovin' me some food.

What are you not doing, not loving and not eating right now?

12 have shown Orah a little love:

Rachel E. said...

Your kids are so adorable! Congratulations on the soon-to-be little one.

-stephanie- said...

sooo funny. Sorry to hear about the accident, but your post about it was funny.

Alicia said...

Love your header! Your kids are adorable!!

LOL about all the food comments! That sounded like me when I was prego!!

Kimber said...

Congrats on the new baby. Happy NMM!

Julie said...

Too funny! Why does pregnancy make us SO hungry! My youngest is 4 months old & I swear I still don't get full!

Keyona said...

Well I never thought about covering my eyes...I'm going to have to try that! Too funny!

elisha said...

I just had a baby at the end of Oct. and all I could think about was food. In fact, since I am nursing all I can still think about is food! Which doesn't help a person lose weight.

Candi said...

Funny stuff! :) Have a great week!

All these B's and Me! said...

Your not me's are great!

Yitzy said...

It's not me who gains 40 lbs every time I am pregnant, even while maintaining a rigorous work-out schedule. It is not me who wants a Burger Buddy now (or any time this year), and who doesn't want to be fasting for a cholesterol test tomorrow morning. :(

Yitz/Yaffa said...

That was really me, Yaffa. It was not my husband, Yitzy. He has never been pregnant.

Miss Mommy said...

I tagged you!! Cute blog, I love reading it.