Not Me! Monday (I Survived Vacation)

I did not just check MckMama's page to get my latest Stellan update, only to discover that Not Me! Monday has already begun and I have yet to write my new post.

I did not then, immediately link last weeks Not Me! Monday (which did not get linked last week due to Stellan's unexpected bout with RSV), just so I could have a post in the top 20 (22), and then return to my blog to write a second Not Me! Monday.

I am, in no way, shape or form, obsessed with this Not Me! Monday concept, that I would be that hasty.

I AM genuinely happy that Stellan is better.

I did not spend the whole week racking my brain over what to do with my kids, because everything I really wanted to do, I wanted to do WITHOUT my kids.

I did not wait until the day before - to call my local community center to see if they still had an opening for So to attend their vacation day trip to an arcade place. After finding out I could get her in, I did not immediately set up a play date for Ro to get her out of the house as well. This did not give me the awesome opportunity to get a crap load of things done in my house. I did not then use that awesome opportunity to do.......NOTHING!

I did not leave Ate behind with my babysitter on Wednesday to take the girls to their first Movie ever at a theater. I did not think that movies about a mouse named "Despereaux" and a dog named "Bolt" would probably be way more appropriate than an Adam Sandler movie called "Bedtime Stories" and take them to "Bedtime Stories" anyway, because I was more willing to subject myself to that movie. I did not find myself squirming multiple times when Sandler's character was trying repeatedly to get THE girl to kiss him. This did not bite me on the ass later, when Ro and So were explaining to me how "Mommy's" and "Daddy's" kiss.

I did not willingly enter "crowded, body odor, migraine inducing, noisy" hell when Hun and I took the kids to "Winter Wonder Fest" (indoor carnival rides, etc...) on Thursday along with 1/3 of the rest of the population of Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin - and one from Nebraska (at least).

I did not have to send Ro after Ate to drag his butt off the end of an inflatable slide, because he just laid down at the bottom so no one else could slide, lest they come down and hit him in the face. He has not recently become the most unusual trouble maker. He can not still charm all the smooches out of me, when he unrolls five toilet paper rolls from my storage closet and spits apple juice at his sisters.

I did not decide that Saturday night is MY vacation day, and therefore, coerce Hun into taking me out to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I did not spend two out of the three hours long movie crying. It was not me who wondered if I was crying because the story line about time passing us by and creating distance between us was depressing, or because they made Brad Pitt look like an old fart. This was not a terrible waste of a pretty face.

I did not wake up Sunday with a post "three hour long crying fest" migraine and quickly inform Hun he would be spending some "quality" time with the kids.

My headache did not have me driving all the way to my local Target to make returns and find a birthday gift for a five year old boy, only to discover when I got there that I forgot my purse. It was not me who then stupidly turned down an offer from a wonderful friend to borrow some money, because I somehow thought it would be a better idea to drive back home, retrieve my purse and then return to Target.

I do not think I am like those mother's out there who are going to MISS their kids when they return back to school this week.

NO, REALLY, I WILL NOT MISS THEM!!!

How did you NOT spend your last week of vacay?