Sunday, February 1, 2009

Not Me! Monday (I Am So Not An Embarrassment)

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This post full of my weekly embarrassments was originated by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not embarrassingly been doing this week.

I would never consider myself to be a total embarrassment to my darling husband and adorable children.

I did not receive the third degree from So when, six weeks after the fact, she found out from a friend that I posted a picture of her tonsils on Face Book, because that mother chose to share the picture with her six year old friend. She does not totally hate me now, because I am so not an embarrassment to her.

I did not spend the entire week, interrogating complete strangers about the stroller they were pushing, because after my MaClaren lost a wheel, I desperately need a new stroller. I did not get strange looks from these people when I would ask questions, such as -

"Don't you find this stroller to be a bit narrow for your pudgy, oversize child"?

I would never ask questions that would ultimately embarrass myself.

When my son ended up at the hospital Monday night due to a bout of Croup, It did not take every bit of my non-embarrassing qualities to keep from telling the teenage looking Medical student that he/she could not get anywhere near my son until he/she "grew a pair". It is certainly not due to the fact that I still do not know if the pre-pubescent looking Med student was a girl or a boy, that I can not narrow in on exactly what "pair" I am referring to.

I did not get all (uncomfortably) dressed up, hire a babysitter and trek out to an event for So's school Saturday night that was taking place at the Aquarium, because I was hoping for some really really really good food. I did not totally embarrass a poor waiter who was serving "tuna tar tar" hour devours, by exclaiming,
"I can not believe you are serving this right in front of the Tuna aquarium display. Quick, move over, don't let 'em see".

Even though I got him to laugh, I realize I am so not a complete embarrassing moron sometimes.

I did not have the most fun at a 4D movie about the coral reef laughing at highly respected members of my community who were 40 - 70 years old wearing bright yellow 3D glasses as they screamed and hollered every time they got sprayed with a mist of water or attacked by blowing air and tentacles under their seats. That would not be extremely immature of me and it certainly would not embarrass my husband.

While walking through the aquarium and coming up upon a species of fish, where the male fish carries and protects the fish eggs in his mouth until they hatch, I did not turn to my husband next to me and say,
"Wouldn't it be great if you could carry the children", only to look up and realize the man next to me was in fact, NOT (for real, NOT) my husband. My husband was still not two viewing windows behind me. I certainly did not turn beet red and say, "I was talking to that other fish in the tank..."

I did not have the most fun during the dinner whilst I was not making complete fun of the four entertainment acts that were hired. I would never say that a man who could paint a picture of a shark and an aquatic background in less than seven minutes could not be too bright, because how much money can he possibly make for time and labor. I certainly did not make other disturbing and embarrassing comments about the variety show because I find that to be more entertaining than the show itself.

I did not wipe myself out Sunday, because while Saturday is my "Day of Rest", Sunday has apparently become my "Day of Nest(ing)" I did not end my day by getting very excited at the last 49 seconds of the Superbowl, only to realize that no one else was around to share in my excitement, and my 2 year old son was too busy making awkward pooping faces to care.

I did not have a totally embarrassing week, how about you?

8 have shown Orah a little love:

Shosh said...

i figured i would write my post tonight b/c tomorrow we are having plumbing work done and i cant be home. then i just decided to check and it was up already! but i am seriusly exhausted now. and btw i get really anonoyed when people tell their kids stuff about my blog or facebook things, then their kids repeat it to my kids. hello! some things are only for grownups! my children are not supposed to know i am exploiting them!

Wayne said...

Great not me monday. I thought your not me was very intresting.

I was also wondering if you would like to take part in tribute tuesday a blgo on my page it is a chance to pay tribute to some one who lights up your life. it has a mr linky so the world can see your tribute to a wonderful person.

elisha said...

Funny list! I am not a little bit scared to write not me's even though I love them.

Orah said...

Shosh - so true, if a kid is not old enough to have their own FB account, they should not be privy to the details of their parent's account especially since it contains my documented exploits.

Wayne - thanks for visiting.

Elisha - you already do write "not mes" you just don't know it. Just a slight change and your most recent blog would say, "I so do NOT have the most stubborn child in the world". And BTW, you so do not, because I do.

Heidi @ Tayterjaq's Rebels said...

Great Not Me's. My kids do not tell me all the time that I am an embarrassment to them.
And I totally try not to let my kids see my blog since I can't always remember if it is "friendly" towards them. I think they would have a major problem if any of their friends ever read it. (I of course am referring to the teenagers)

Anonymous said...

Wish I coulda seen all your embarassing moments at "Chez." I especially like the one where you thought you were talking to Hun but it turned out to be some other dude...HA! Who needs a drink?, I woulda been rolling on the floor without one.
I can't believe that FB stuff got back to you from So, G-d only knows what'll come back to me from my kids, ohh perish that thought!!
Miss S.

Anonymous said...

That was funny and I've seen these gender questionable people myself. hmmmm

Lea Parrott said...

Soo funny! Thanks for sharing