Sunday, February 22, 2009

Not Me Monday - Chock Full Of Shenanigans

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog full of my stupid shenanigans was originally created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what shenanigans she and everyone else have not been getting into this week.

I can not believe another week full of NOTHING has passed, yet again.

It was not me who spent the entire week doing hard labor that had nothing to do with delivering a baby. I did not spend the entire week, decluttering, organizing and cleaning my house to the point that I threw out my neck and the whole upper right side of my back. It is not me who now smells like "icy/hot" and should take stock in "thermacare heating pads".

It was soooo not me who stupidly tried to uncork a new bottle of wine, Wednesday with a corkscrew that still had an old cork buried inside it. This did not then cause the cork on the fresh bottle of wine to break up into tiny little pieces and fall into the wine bottle. I did not brilliantly try to salvage the wine by pouring it through a strainer into a decanter. I was not prematurely proud of myself for my quick thinking when I realized that most of the broken cork pieces were smaller than the strainer holes and went right into the decanter. It was not me who would not give up and decided to restrain the wine through cheese cloth material into another wine decanter. This did so not work like heaven , and I was certainly not grateful at this point that I received about 500 wine decanters as wedding gifts.

I did not have to deal with the fallout after I sent So and Ro to a friend for a play date, Saturday, late afternoon, where they spent two hours eating popsicles and drinking caffeinated soda just before bedtime.
It was not So who put dents in the floor because she could not stop jumping from the sugar and caffeine overdose. I did not have to remove each of them from the other's room a total of 7 times after they were put to bed, because they were so wired and could not remain still in their respective beds.

It certainly was not me who got my big, fat, pregnant a*#, stuck under Ate's crib while I was trying to retrieve a toy that he was hording. I did not have to use moves that are only appropriate if you are a seal to maneuver my way out from under the crib.

Speaking of big, fat pregnant a*#, I did not go to an engagement party Saturday night and leave disappointed (and hungry) because there was not enough good food at the party. That would be pathetic of me, and I am certainly not that food obsessed and pathetic.

What kind of shenanigans were you NOT up to this week?

7 have shown Orah a little love:

Heidi @ Tayterjaq's Rebels said...

Great Not Me's. Very resourceful saving your bottle of wine. I would have never been able to pull that off. Aside from the fact that we don't have any decanters, so I probably would have been using Tupperware bowls or something, I don't think we have any cheesecloth either. Of course, since we don't drink wine I suppose I won't have to worry about it. :-)

blueviolet said...

I am picturing your seal moves and I am completely cracking up! said...

I remember going to a party while pregnant with my first and, absolutely without any deliberate decision to do so, start crying because I was hungry and there was no food... gotta love pregnancy.

Hope that icy hot need goes away very soon. Feel better!


Anonymous said...

I am glad u didnt smell of icy/hot last night, although it may have drowned out the smell of gas someone was passing :)
What the hell is cheeese cloth?? Something fancy u pleasantville peeps use??
I'd think 2x before sending Ro and So to this playdates house again..although I was happily giving Ate a healthy dose of candy at 10 pm....
Seeing your big a** stuck under the crib making like a seal woulda been much more enjoyable entertainment than the Oscars last night!!......ahh, until next time!!
- Miss. S

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Great not me's.

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Great list! Remind me not to let my kids play at the house your daughters visited this week!

I love your disclaimer in your left column...very clever!

Happy Not Me Monday!

Megan @ Hold it Up to the Light said...

Very funny NMM, and I would do the same thing for a good glass of vino!!! Hope your neck feels better soon! NESTING already!