Wednesday, November 5, 2008

When Your Husband's Boss Is Also The Grandfather Of Your Kids

I notice that people have been visiting my blog, and I am very appreciative, however, where is the feedback I so obviously need? I don't bite, really. And today's blog really requires some feedback, because I am experiencing a dilemma, which I never knew existed, until I met my in-laws.

First, I love my in-laws (really, there was no sarcastic tone applied here). I actually do not take for granted that I get along with Hun's parents so well, because I have heard the horror stories that exist out there.

Second, I should mention that my father-in-law is also my husband's "boss". Although even my father-in-law will say that Hun does not work FOR him, but rather WITH him and they actually run two separate business lines.

My husband recently asked me if I want to come with him on his upcoming business trip to a food show in New York to help him out. (His line of business does fall into the food category.) I have done this before. We got married on September 4th and ten days later I was in Atlanta for a honeymoon food show. When I was almost 7 months pregnant with So, I went to Orlando for a food show, convincing Hun to stay an extra 3 days since he had never been to Disney World. Except for the fact that I had to ride "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "It's a Small World" 40 times because I was too pregnant for any other rides, and we walked 4 parks in June in 110 degree weather every day, it was a blast. I got free ice at the hotel to fill the tub, so I could ice what used to be feet and legs.

I told my husband I would go with him, because leaving the kids with a babysitter for four days would be great practice for when he is going to take me to Hawaii in January. (Oh, it's gonna happen this year!!!)

So we started making plans for our trip, including discussion about the flights, when Hun's father called. Hun gets off the phone and says "my father has one problem, he does not want us traveling together on the same plane".

Huh??? (this is where I need feedback, how many follow this same edict?)

My in-laws never travelled together on the same plane while the kids were young. Ok, I get it, If the plane goes down, the kids are orphans. I respect it, but not how I grew up. My parents left us a lot (that could be its own blog) and always flew together.

I am a very spiritual person and believe, when your time is up, its up. So if you avoid the traveling in one airplane together, it would really suck if each airplane the spouses were on took off and collided with one another. Maybe we should not travel in the same car without are kids, lest there G-d forbid be an accident. Maybe we should not sleep in the same room, because an airplane flying overhead will surely lose its engine and it will land right where we sleep. Maybe we should not sleep in the same room because my husband snores.

I joke, but I really respect my father-in-law and his opinions, I just don't live my life that way. This is what happens when your husband's boss is also your children's grandfather.

I actually called him and we had a reasonable discussion, but had to agree to disagree. He thought because this was related to business, being a business trip, he could offer his concerns. And I thought, being that I was the one married to his son, it should be a decision between us. And I was already on a plane that almost crashed when it lost one of its two engines (a whole other blog) and I decided then, that I could not die that way. Are you listening G-d?

I could say we split the difference, since on the way there we are travelling separate and the way home, together. But that was done for logistical reasons. I waited until I was 25 to get married, (which in my circles is considered way past due). And I did not get married so that when I finally have the opportunity to get away with him without the kids, we sit on two different planes next to strangers who undoubtedly will have some unpleasant body odor. My husband smells nice.

I don't know! Am I making the right decision? Help!!!

2 have shown Orah a little love:

DESJ and Company said...

My sil's parents did that when she was little. I don't do it. like you, I think, "when it's time, it's time", and respectfully to your fil, I do believe that it is your and your dh's choice.

Shosh said...

i agree. driving in a car is way more dangerous than airplanes, first of all. also - you never know what will happen. you cant live that way. really, we are not in control, all we can do is make responsible choices and then daven a lot. and by responsible i mean, like, not going to iraq together or jumping into a cage of lions.
i DO worry when dovid & i go places alone, but not enough to not do it. are soooooo lucky to have nice in laws!