Monday, November 24, 2008

Not Me! Monday, In All It's Glory

I do not first have a story about So because she is so cute.

I do not let my kids drink soda except for special occasions and on weekends IF and only IF we have company for one of our extravagant meals. This rule has not gone out the window over the past year and three months because my soda obsessed mother gives out this chemically concocted drug to the kids while she is living at my house like it is going out of style. My six year old daughter So has not already made arrangements for multiple sleepovers at Bobbie and Zeidy's house (Grandma and Grandpa) when they finally move back into their home. So did not say she is doing this because Bobbie gives her Soda and she has to go where the goods are. Bobbie did not then tell So that she thought for a minute that So really wanted the sleepovers because she would miss her and because she loves her. So did not then respond that she does love Bobbie, but she loves soda more.

And now for some real Not Me! Monday.

It did not take me over a week to unpack the suitcase from my trip to NJ which had only three days of clothes in it and one pair of shoes. I would never procrastinate that much.

I did not decide on my own volition to further decorate the glass votive candle holders for an organizational dinner I am working on by hot glue gun gluing sheer bronze and gold ribbon around it.

I did not do this for one of the following reasons:
1. To further procrastinate from everything I really did have to do (including not unpacking my suitcase).
2. Because plain glass just does not do it for me.
3. Because I had to relieve some crafty energy.
4. So my children will have an answer to their question, "What do you do when you are not being a Mommy."
5. Certainly, not for ALL aforementioned reasons.

I did not then burn each one of my finger tips at least once with scolding glue. I am not one, to not learn my lesson the first time.

I did not contemplate having my daughter tell the librarian at school that the reason she did not have her book to return is because she loved it so much she wanted to spend another week reading it. The reason she did not have it to return has nothing to do with the fact that I have absolutely no idea where it went in the garbage no idea.

I did not put my girls in the most stunning virginal white knit dresses on Saturday for Synagogue and then tell a four year old and a six year old, "Now don't get dirty".

I did not tell Ate every time he approached me with the same "Ducks Swimming" book that his father REALLY REALLY loves ducks and swimming and wants to read it to him, and then watch Ate waddle off to find his more obliging parent.

I did not stay up until three in the morning Saturday night watching shows that I have missed on That would be a stupid thing to do when children need to be taken care of in the morning.

I did not then kick Hun out of bed in the morning when the kids were requesting breakfast for the fifth time, that would be terribly selfish of me.

I did not berate my husband for leering at Beyonce just a bit too long while she was doing her "Single Ladies" dance. Beyonce has nothing on me.

I did not point out this weeks "Peoples Sexiest Man Alive" issue to my husband and then ask him why he did not make the cover, yet again. That would make me a terrible wife.

I do not totally and pitifully feel sad when I see no comments after spilling my guts for three days straight.

I am not loving "Not Me! Monday"

4 have shown Orah a little love:

Shosh said...

i know, its so sad no one comments. once i wrote a whole post telling people that it was rude to read my blog and not comment.
it didnt work.

and i cant wait to see the decorations on mon night. now if only i could find a babysitter

Yitz/Yaffa said...

I can totally relate to spilling your guts and wondering how all those readers had NOTHING to say about it. Oh, well. Here I am...telling you that your post was entertaining, and that I wondered if I should show the Beyonce skit to my hubbers and ended up doing it anyway.

Lisa said...

Great Not Me Monday posts.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love having visitors!! Too funny about the suppositories. It can be quite a challenge with my son as well. Don't get me wrong. Have a great week.

Keyona said...

My husband didn't make the cover either! :o)