Sunday, May 3, 2009

Not Me! (Six Weeks Worth Of) Mondays

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog which was sorely missed was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and baby Stellan and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It is not me who is soooooooo happy that baby Stellan is back home amongst his adoring family.

I am sure it is not me who had a special admiration for profuse vomiting by my little Ro all week.

It certainly was not me who could predict the next eruption with complete accuracy allowing me to make sure all by-product is contained in baggie lined garbage pail each and every time.

It is not me who does not find anything wrong with the pride I allowed myself after making each catch.

I did not totally ignore my Hun, when he returned from a business trip Thursday night and walked into the house just as I was standing in front of my TV, yelling like a banshee as the Bulls, in triple overtime were going for a win in game 6 against the Celtics. I would never ignore my lovely husband who left me all preggers, with a vomitous child and a little boy who scared the living daylights outta me when he shocked himself from a wall socket, while he went on aforementioned business trip. It did not occur to me that my loving, adoring hubby did not actually rush home to be with me either because he was most certainly not standing at a TV in the airport upon landing glued to the same game as me.

I would never give him that much credit, frankly.

I am not one who would become so excited over a basketball game and equally excited over the amount of contractions the intense game was causing, that I totally expected game 7 would yield as much excitement and maybe an actual baby as well, only to be terribly disappointed when it did not.

It was not me who got noticeably irritated at a fifty year old man who does not know me, when he asked,
"When are you due.... I just ask, because it looks like it's any second."

He could not have possibly noticed the evil glare I burned into his eyes, which caused him, then and only then to introduce himself, as if that would yield an answer from me.

I was not equally irritated by a very close five foot tall 95 pound friend of mine who saw me on Saturday and immediately exclaimed,
"Orah, you are huuuuuuuuuuuuuge."

If she very wisely made that genius remark, she certainly did not follow it up with,
"I have lost aaaaaaaall my baby weight since C. was born ten months ago. I have been taking all my skirts in... blah... blah... blah (I want you to reach out and strangle me right now)... blah... blah... blah.

I most certainly did not consider using all 5 feet 6 inches and oh so much more than 95 pounds of myself to clobber her.

I did not spend all day Sunday making up for a very unproductive week of housework while my, once again, exceptionally considerate hubby took the kids to a pro-Israel event, and still ended my physically exerting day disappointed in the lack of baby yielding.

It was not me who considered writing six weeks of Not Me! Monday in one post, only to realize all six weeks would pretty much result in repetitive blog material.

What have you not done for six weeks of Mondays?

5 have shown Orah a little love: said...

Oh darn, 306!

You could have been a no show to the doctor's ;)

Lovin' those preggers not me's.
Sounds like you are more than ready for this little one to launch. (yep, launch, that's official jargon ")

Seriously funny not me's. Thanks for the laughs.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Your friend is lucky you didn't clobber her. What was she thinking? Nice list.

Heidi @ Tayterjaq's Rebels said...

I was not also bummed to be so high in my ranking. I had actually scheduled the post last night and forgot this morning to check on it. Oh well, it will take some getting used to again to remember to start checking her post early on Mondays.
Great Not Me's!
Why is it that everyone thinks pregnancy is an open discussion with anyone under the sun? They need to make maternity shirts that say "Don't Ask Me ANYTHING About My Pregnancy & Leave Me Alone!!"
They would sell like hotcakes.

Candice said...

Next time someone comments on how "huge" you are, just sit on them.

Anonymous said...

Hey, don't be hatin on us little people....and ur friend is teeny, she makes me feel like big mama.
Ohhh, I don't know if I told u this, but last shabbos at shul someone asked me if you were having TWINS!!! HAHAHAHA, I know, just what you wanted to steam pouring out of you nose right about now?? Get angry, get mad and go get that baby outta ya already, then everyone will leave you the "Eff" alone!!
- Miss S.