Occupation?

I always love seeing that empty box on forms and applications, the one that follows the extremely vague rhetoric written as a one word question, "occupation". First of all, is that a question and second, what exactly is it asking? Does it depend what kind of form or application it is? For instance, if it's a job application, should my response after "occupation" be - want one please, or maybe my response should be, if I had one, wouldn't be filling out this damn application. What if I was filling out a form for unemployment? Ahhh, you ask yourself, there is a reference to occupation on an unemployment form? Yes there is, although, I never filled out an unemployment form, I happen to know there is. I do not need to apply for unemployment, because I am indefinitely employed. My occupation however, is not a simple manner.

I would call myself "self-employed" although my 3 little ones, So - 6 years old, Ro - 4 years old and Ate - 2 years old and one big one I call Hun, beg to differ, claiming they employ me. Either way, I am CEO of this operation, and boy , am I occupied.

By degree I tell people I am a nurse (true, licensed in three states at one point). However, does any mother need to spend upwards of 60,000 dollars to attend nursing school, so they can apply ice, band-aids and plenty of boo boo kisses. In the end , degree or no degree, we all rush our kids to the ER when we have exhausted every available option to stop profuse bleeding, vomiting, diarrhea, skin rashes, runny noses, climbing temperature... you get the point. So it seems, if every mother practices nursing, I too practice every other occupation.

So if I am to answer that "question" of occupation, there needs to be plenty of space for my answer. I will not bore you with the old familiar, "housewife" or "stay at home mom" (what is that anyway, carpool, groceries, clothes, extracurricular activities...when am I ever home). It would be something more like this - production, executor, director, services, human resources, chef, maintenance, teacher, plumber (that can be related to household plumbing or human plumbing) inventory, secretary, bank, personal shopper, chauffeur, cleaning services, launderer, salon, tailor, referee, cheerleader, interior decorator, actor, musician, singer, artist (whatever it takes to entertain) oh and a clairvoyant (that one is for my six year old who wants to know about her future life and death, and any possible past lives). I am sure I am forgetting plenty, but any mother who might be reading this can certainly fill in the rest.

This all reminds me of an old joke. A woman was filling out forms as a new patient at her Doctor's office. When she got to the question of sex, she passed over the options of male or female and instead wrote - "occasionally".

Here is to all the mothers and wives around the world. There can never be one degree for all we do.