Thursday, October 16, 2008

Here Comes Trouble and We Call Her Ro

When we were living in Northern New Jersey and So was five months old, my husband came to me and asked if I wanted to move back to my hometown of Chicago. While this subject had come up as a possibility before, I sensed in his tone that there would be actual action this time. I did not realize that following my question of "When?", I would come to find out I had only a month to pack up and go. We had not even looked for a place to live in Chicago and had no where to move our stuff, and so we packed and left it all in the apartment we were still paying rent on (not the cheapest form of storage) and continued on our adventure. I went ahead with So by plane, while Hun drove one of our cars in three days later.

So and I settled in to my parents' house (yay, back to where I spent 25 years trying to get away from) and spent every waking moment looking at apartments and houses (I was pulling for the house). While Hun was literally on the road, on his way to Chicago, I called him up to tell him I found a house that had plenty of space to grow into, required no maintenance ,as it was just built and we had to decide NOW because of a special circumstance which allowed us to buy the house at the original price (before it was built) even though it was already worth 200,000 more. The most shocking words came out of his mouth, "Do what you need to do". My Hun, told me to go ahead with the purchase of a house, not a refrigerator, a HOUSE, that he did not even see. Frankly, I think it was the room in the front of the house with the french doors that I told him would be his study/office that really sold him. It has since become his cave (some sacrifices are worth it), because the rest of the house is MINE.

For three months (until closing) we lived at my parents' house while we paid RENT to store our things in Northern Jersey. Apparently, we were quite comfortable at my parents' house, because we found ourselves pregnant with number two.

While my husband was "secretly" hoping to balance out the testosterone to estrogen ratio in our home, I had to remind him that my gut, my special intuition, my trusty instinct did not include an "appendage" this time around. While I always pray for a healthy child, no matter the gender, I thought, since they would only be 15 months apart, it would be nice for So to have a little sister. Although I once again did not have a Doctor confirm my gender suspicion, I carried on as if it was no doubt a girl in utero.

With this pregnancy, like with So's, I was also having strong feelings about my child's personality. I remember using the words "spitfire", "ball of fire" and "fire storm" to describe her, she is more often than not a cranky child who knows how to instigate a situation that will ultimately give her the attention she needs (even though it is usually negative attention). I knew she would be more fierce in her approach to everything and that she would not come across as a warm affectionate child. She is very selective of who can touch her and cuddle her, and even I can only kiss her if she invites it or if she approaches me. I remember stating that she will be the kind of child who can sit around without needing constant interaction. Unlike So, Ro does not need constant entertaining, she can play with dolls and look at books by herself, so long as she knows Mommy or a trusted adult is not far away. She is not going to be exceptionally verbal. She is an introvert. She was my child, who took longest to speak, but more than that, even at four years old she tends to choose whining and crying over using words to get what she needs or wants. It can be as simple as a cup of juice, she will not just ask "please can I have juice"? She will point and whine "Juuuuuuuiiiiiiice". She needs to be reminded to use her words and ask nicely (She has come a long way because I am a 0 tolerance Mommy). She will be smart in a conniving sort of way. Because she is an introvert and getting info out of her is like pulling teeth, one may not realize how much she knows. But unlike So, who is oblivious to everything, Ro notices anything and everything. She determines WHEN she will reveal what it is she knows and she sometimes uses this to her advantage. She once asked me to buy her a sleeping beauty doll, when I told her I couldn't afford it because I had no money, she reminded me that four days prior I asked Hun to go to the bank and bring home money so I could pay the housekeeper, so I must have money.

Ro has the most perfect eyebrows, they are arched and shaped just the way mine look after I sit through a five - ten minute torture session with my Indian eyebrow lady. But, even these go along with her diabolical personality. We call her Chucky (after the slasher doll of the same name). If you met her and asked her to do the Chucky face, you would see right away what I mean, but there is another reason I call her Chucky. There was this one time when I left Ro sitting on the couch in the family room which is right off the kitchen. If I am standing facing the fridge, the couch is easily seen to the right of me. However, when I open the fridge door and peer in, my view of the couch is now blocked by the fridge door. I was at the fridge, looked over and saw Ro on the couch, twenty feet away, opened fridge door, pulled out item, closed fridge door (all of 4 seconds) and Ro was right behind fridge door with the most deviant chucky face ever. All she needed was a cleaver in her hand to complete the look. And why, you ask, was she standing there with such a look? Because when Ro was 2 years old, that is how she "asked" for a cookie.

My mom has a theory, she calls "second of the sex syndrome". The second kid of the same gender as the previous kid is somehow the one who is most needy in an unexpected way, and will zap you of all energy and all energy you had on reserve. She may be right, as Ro proved this theory from birth.

Ro came into this world on February 4 2004, 7lbs. 13 ozs. (my smallest baby) 19 and 3/4 inches long. Even Ro's entrance is testament to the fact that Ro will only do things when she is ready and then when she is she comes at you like a ton of bricks. Two weeks before her delivery, I would have consistent contractions everyday between the hours of 2 pm and 4 pm. Although they did not intensify, I found myself calling Hun at work every day at 3 pm asking him to leave early, because I did not know where these contractions were headed. Alas, he would get home, and they had subsided and he would call me "the girl who cried labor" (this is a reference to the boy who cried wolf for you slower people). After two weeks of this (now a week overdue) we both had enough of this. At an appointment that morning, my OB told me I was six cm. dilated. I WAS WALKING AROUND 6 CM. DILATED??? This baby should practically fall out of me. We agreed that I would come in the next morning to be induced. Well once again that afternoon, 2 pm my contractions begin, 3 pm "Hun, I don't know where this is going, please leave work early". 4pm, what, this is new, they are not stopping. I went to bed 11 pm that night with consistent yet tolerable contractions - 12 am, not so much fun anymore. 1 am we arrive at the hospital and I am almost 8 cm., I need the candy man NOW!!!! 5 am I see a small naked baby on the warming table, she has a whole lot of hair , and I kid you not, she stopped at the salon on the way out, because it was brunette spiked with frosted tips. She resembled no one to me and my first words, "I don't know how you did it under my nose, but that is NOT my baby, you switched my baby, where is MY baby"? (see previous post). These words already indicate, what is to be a very energy sucking, gut wrenching, challenging year.

As one can see already, there is nothing ordinary about Ro. And the whole first year of Ro's life was anything but ordinary, and requires a blog all unto itself, which I will share tomorrow. But I do not want to leave this blog with out emphasizing. I love my Ro. She has really grown so much these past few years. Any mother who has a challenging child just needs to find a little patience and don't be afraid to use appropriate discipline and an enormous amount of love. I never hit my children. I have spent enormous energy and time talking to Ro and teaching her to strengthen her positive attributes. She has a beautiful smile and I tell her I love to see it. She is now my SOMETIMES cranky, please and thank you, compliment disher, self entertaining, cunningly bright, wheels always turning, all in a small package, bundle of love.

0 have shown Orah a little love: