All Talk

My kids do as many kids do....



....They say things that make me laugh.

While I realize that some of their more memorable and laughable revelations and announcements may actually ONLY be funny to me, I will share them here anyway -

mostly so I can throw out the papers that they are written on.


Me: "Ate, why are you full of paint? How did you get so much paint up your sleeve and in your hair?"

Ate: "Lee (his 3 yr old cousin) painted on me."

Me: "Why did Lee paint on you?"

Ate: "Oh ..... she thought I was an easel."

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Ate: (brings a "little people" playground toy) "Mommy, is this a merry go round?"

Me: "Yes."

Ate: "But this is the go round, where's the merry?"

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So: "Mommy, can I have soda?"

Me: "No, it's not good for you."

So: "You know what's worse than soda?"

Me: "What?"

So: (yelling) "POISON!!"

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So has a "Fiona" doll (from Shrek) with stuffing coming out. After I told So and Ro they could not have soda, she asked me if I could fix her doll.

Me: "I will sew up Fiona."

(A minute later I realized Ro was crying for no apparent reason.)

Me: "Ro, why are you crying?"

Ro: "You said you would give So some soda."

Me: (confused) "Huh .......... no, I said I would SEW UP FIONA!!!"

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So: (in the car) "Mommy, where you taking us?"

Me: "It's a surprise."

So: "But maybe you are taking us to a stranger's house and they will kidnap us."

Me: (sarcastic, of course) "Yes, I am taking you to a stranger's house and leaving you there..."

So: "Noooooooooo, really?"

Me: "If you keep asking me where we're going, I will."

Ate: "TAKE RO TOO!"

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Ate: "My eye is twisted, I need a new one."

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So: "What's a first aid kit?"

Me: "Something that contains all you need to help someone if they get hurt or injured."

So: "Like shots?"

Me: "No, more like bandaids and cream..."

So: "Oh ......... so what is a second aid kit?"

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Ro: "What's for dessert?"

Hun: "Watermelon, strawberries..."

Ro: "No, I mean, like, what is for dessert that is nutritious?"

Hun: "Huh?"

Ro: "You know, like cookies or cake..."

Me: "Oh, you mean NOT nutritious."

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Ate: (typical boy) "Smell my feet."

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And from my BIGGEST kid of all -

(I hate his crackberry)

We are driving...

Me: "Hypothetically speaking, what happens if I open the car door and your Blackberry "accidentally" falls out and we "accidentally" drive over it?"

Hun: "I get a new Blackberry."

Me: "And what if that phone "accidentally" falls into the garbage disposal and gets ground up into tiny shards?"

Hun: "I GET A NEW WIFE!"

PEAS And Passover

ATTENTION:

To the guy (or girl - because you just never know) who googled "Hot Banging Mammas" and was (sadly) directed to my blog ....


....I have a feeling I was not the sort of "Hot Banging Mamma" you were looking for.

So sorry to disappoint.


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I am pleased to tell you that my Dad is doing very well (thank G-d). He would have been running around the day after surgery, but my mother grounded him (per Doctor's orders).

But the next day he was at the produce store pickin' out his fruits and veggies just the way he likes 'em.

Of course, the bigger picture that includes an undesirable reality .... that still exists. But, with good friends and deafening music, I was relieved from my "funk" if only for a moment.

BLACK EYED PEAS

Them and the couple at the end of my row who puts the well known phrase -

"GET A ROOM"

to shame, because they thought THEY alone had an entire ARENA

were my entertainment this past Saturday night.


Fergie and Will I Am


The Peas



Surprise! It's Slash



Will I Am was literally singing and texting at the same time. But I will excuse him, because it was his birthday.



Taboo (he scares me a little bit)


Anyway, it was fun, and I am still deaf.

But now I am back in my pre-Passover preparation HELL.

But heaven will be spending a lot of Passover with my Mom and Dad.

And THAT is a blessing.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

In A Funk

I feel like I am being pulled in ten different directions. We all go through it at some time, especially the wives and mothers of the universe. But, these past few weeks have been both joyous and unnerving and I do not see any rest for the weary in my future.

A few weeks ago we celebrated the holiday "PURIM". I will not do a whole post about it because it just seems like it happened so long ago. But we do dress up for that holiday and I will include one picture of the children.



If you can guess who they are ..... well then ..... you are genius.

Life here has been hectic because there have been many unfortunate changes within the family.

My Mother-in-law who is an amazing person that I am extremely fortunate to have a great relationship with is scarce these days.

I have become spoiled by her frequent offers to babysit or have the children over in the past, but she has been in California indefinitely. Unfortunately, she had been attending to the needs of her brother's family as his wife is tragically being treated for cancer.

My Dad became violently ill not too long ago and it was so out of the ordinary for him that my mother begged him to go to the hospital in middle of the night.

Out of seven kids in our family, I and my baby brother are the only ones living in Chicago where my parents reside. I AM A DAUGHTER!!! That means, I am typically the one HERE to take on the role of "parent keeper".

I told my Mom if he is still not well the next day he must go to the Doctor and have a blood draw...

He was feeling better and did not have a blood draw.

Not that the Doctor would have helped anyway because he has a Sh#%head for a Doctor. I know this, because I went to that Doctor too and unless you have a cold, he doesn't pursue anything in the way of finding the problem in order to get to a solution.

I have been begging my Dad for years to get a new Doctor, but I think he feels safe with a Doctor who tells him that everything is A - OK all the time.

My parents went to Israel not too long ago and two days after they arrived there, I received a phone call from my brother that started like this,

"I don't want to scare you, but Dad is in the Hospital...."

Well guess what?

I am friggin' scared!

But G-d works in mysterious ways.

He was staying at my sister, the one who is a nurse over the weekend, when he had a violent attack much like the one he had previously in Chicago. She works at a hospital just a few blocks from her home, and took him there immediately.

There they discovered he has gallstones and his recent illnesses were therefor gallstone attacks.

But after two days of IV antibiotics and medicines, they determined he was not an emergent case and could finish out his trip and safely return to Chicago and find a surgeon here.

Since then, I have been emotionally vested and physically making myself available to help find Doctors and follow up with what direction they would take. And one great thing to come out of this, my Dad also finally agreed to find a new Primary Care Physician.

Two days ago I was in the hospital with my Mom while my Dad had his gallbladder removed and I am THANKFUL that it all seemed to have gone well and he is home now recuperating.

I feel relieved that this "problem" can be checked off, however, it has me facing a cold reality that I do not like.

I wish my parents a loooooooong and healthy life (ad meah v'esrim shana). But, they are not young, and I feel my time being split now, between taking care of my own children, and my lovely aging parents.

I do not have many siblings around "physically" to participate in this new routine of mine (however, all the siblings make many phone calls and participate in decision making). And as an emotional person, these episodes sadden me and put me in a funk.

So that is where I have been lately....

IN A FUNK!!!

Any wise one want to tell me how to get out of it?

How To Make A Six Year Old (And Her Tired Mommy) Smile For Days...

Been busy, busy.

It's that time of year again - holidays, holidays.

Oh,

and a birthday.

Ro turned six. Her official birthday was February 4, but I returned from Miami on February second, so I did not even give it a thought until I returned, which delayed the birthday process.

On Feb. 8 I made her a little celebration in her classroom with some mini cupcakes.


I brought sister So and cousin Yo over to celebrate.
Yes, it was, Ro, So and Yo.


The class made her a book of birthday wishes for her. There were many wishes for her to somehow acquire much Polly Pockets. That was poor wishing on their part since I have a mobile nine month old who has perfected his pincer grasp and his fine motor skills have him pincing small objects and placing them in his mouth. So Polly Pockets are vetoed.



That was the easy part, but now I had to plan a birthday party for her outside of school.


LET THE HEART PALPITATIONS COMMENCE!!!


First, I hate parties in my house, and Ro is a winter baby, so where would I have a party.

Second, I did not exactly have the energy at the time to find art projects and activities to do with kids for one and a half hours.

Then, I was trying to find a Sunday, but...

..... every Sunday until March 7 was filled with other birthdays, Community concerts (Uncle Moishy), Purim - our upcoming holiday...

It looked like I had to wait to March 7 to make the party and now we are getting close to Passover, a holiday for which we are required to clean our homes of things made from grains, including all cake and snacks that 15 girls munch on during parties in places you won't know about.

So I absolutely refused to have this party in my house.

I called a local community center to see how much it would cost to rent a room. The price was so high, for just a room (I still had to provide the activities) that it made sense to go somewhere else that provided entertainment as well. But the bowling alley that So had her birthday at, is sadly gone. The local pottery place - shut down. Someone else was making a birthday two weeks earlier for the same girls at an indoor inflatable climbing place...


And then my sister-in-law called.

She would be honored as a "woman of valor" and guess when the luncheon is?

MARCH SEVENTH!!!

So, I asked her,

"Does this mean I have to go?"

To which she replied,

"If you love me you do."

Of course I was joking. Absolutely I am going.

But when the heck do I make Ro a party?

And then it came to me,

SATURDAY NIGHT!

See, we can't really make the same sort of birthdays on a Saturday, because that is our Sabbath and we don't drive. People who live far, wouldn't be able to come. We can't really do many activities either. So I had to wait until sundown, which was about 6 PM and give myself time to set up.

So I called the birthday for 7 - 8:30 Pm and it became a...

wear your pajamas,
bring your pillow
and
favorite stuffed animal

Tinkerbell themed,
undernighter.

And, because I went with this theme, it became a "movie" party, which took all the stress away and I was singing my brilliant praises (even though part of me thinks "movie" parties are cop-outs).

But it's 7 friggin' Pm at night and they are 13 five and six year olds and throw in a couple of 3 year olds all hyped up on sugar and salt, and what else can you do?

And because I made this party a bit easier on myself, I decided with the energy I had spared to make my own cake, which seemed like a bright idea at first.

Then I realized I had to make Tinkerbell!

I now bring you my cake making process...













Good Enough!!!


And Saturday night arrived.

Did I say we were showing a Tinkerbell Movie?

I mean,

WE WERE SHOWING A TINKERBELL MOVIE!!!



Our concession stand! Your choice of popcorn, chips, or pretzels.


Our Movie screen, aka - a big white wall.



Our, seating, laying, drop your snacks all over the blankets, area.



And (sadly) time to cut into THAT cake.

I don't really care if it was a cop-out. It was probably the most affordable, low maintenance, enjoyable party I ever made.

And more importantly,
it didn't kill me.

And even better than that,
Ro had the sweetest, most beautiful smile on her face for days after.

Miami 2010 is Yesterday

The race was over. All that I worked for, all that I trained for had culminated into these few final moments of celebration.

I kept imagining while I was running the last few miles (and feeling very hot) that I would get to the hotel, remove my stinky socks and sneakers and jump into the pool in my running clothes.

Of course, by the time I made it back to the hotel, my body had much time to cool off and the sweat that sat on my skin was causing me to feel quite cold and all I wanted to do now was get a hot coffee from the Starbucks in the lobby and sit in that really deep jacuzzi tub in my room.

That is what I did. I actually drank my skinny cinnamon dolce latte while in the tub and I almost passed out from overheating.

As time was passing, my muscles were feeling more and more worn out and it was getting hard for me to walk.
I am pretty sure that my gate made me look like I just got off a horse.

It was already time for the post - race victory dinner in the hotel. However, when we arrived, all of the hot dogs and hamburgers were gone and because they rushed to bring out more, the burgers were seriously undercooked and quite raw in the center and I lost my appetite. I figured we would just order food later from somewhere (which we did). But first, I very intelligently made the decision to take a walk on the boardwalk (because running 13.1 miles that morning was not enough to keep me from making my legs move).

We had time to bask in the warmth and sun of Miami, because I made plans to stay until Monday night, taking into consideration that post-race I would be too sore to get my act together to fly home and sit in one tight spot for 3 hours on an a$$ that felt like it had taken a serious beating.

The wind was beginning to pick up and it was obvious that rain was on its way, but we took advantage of the fact that it was still pleasant enough to be outside.



WE WENT BIRD WATCHING


I like birds in Miami. They are just more "tropical" than birds in Chicago and they sing better.




We checked out the pool at the "Fontainebleu" hotel and decided that this is where we would go swimming the next day. (Well, we shall see how that idea turns out.)



And we took Bam to the beach. This was a better view for him than last year. Last year we took the older three kids to Miami and Bam's only view was a bit murky and that of a placenta and uterus. Yes, I was 7 months pregnant with him last year, this time.

And then we had to return to the hotel for the 5 PM massage I booked.

THE WORST MASSAGE I HAVE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE!!!

I am not one who usually pays for spa massages. I do have a serious need for massages due to some neck and upper back issues. However, I discovered that if I go to a "massage therapist" at my Chiropractor's office, then my insurance pays for it.

But every so often, I treat myself. And I figured, after 13.1 miles of running, now was the time, if any.

When I booked the appointment (from Chicago) I ascertained that this particular massage was deep tissue and would be good for a post- half marathon run. I was also told that I could tell the attendant to focus on the areas that were in most need of massage.

1. That was so NOT deep tissue. It felt like a feather was floating over me.

2. After I told her I just ran the marathon and my legs and hips and back were in most need of massage, she still decided to follow her stupid routine.
Uh, lady - my arms really do not need ten minutes each and the last fifteen minutes that you spent on my scalp was a bit excessive, don't u think.

3. They told me after the massage that 18 friggin' % gratuity was added to the already astronomical price.

When I did a double take and said,
"huh, 18% gratuity is added???"

the receptionist said,
"oh yes, but you could give her more if you want to."

HELL NO!!!

The only good that came from that massage is that I fell asleep.

You can ask my husband, if Orah is pissed about spending money on a spa massage, then YOU KNOW that massage SUCKED!!!

After the massage I realized I was walking worse than before the massage and my legs were so sore, especially my right hip and glutes area.

I went back to my room and Bam was napping and Hun was laptopping so I took a book and went to the lobby. Only, the Eden Roc does not really have a "lobby" per se. It is actually a bar. And really annoying music plays in this lobby/bar. And at this time of night, a waitress is rearranging the furniture for the nighttime influx of idiots who should really go find a better bar. And then the lights dimmed and I could no longer see my book. And I was getting really hungry, because, funny thing, I ran 13.1 miles and had nothing since than, other than half a granola bar, a baked potato and half a hot dog and a bite of raw meat.

So I went back to my room, hoping Bam was awake and he was not. It also began pouring at this point and I no longer felt the need to go out to eat with the baby when I could just send Hun out into a small Hurricane. I also needed Hun to buy some zip lock bags so I could ice myself.

Hun went to retrieve food (poor thing) and my bags and I think I inhaled the food before he made it all the way in the door. He graciously filled my bags with ice from the hotel ice machine and I had about 6 bags of ice all over me and under me. And after icing and getting cold all over again, I decided to take another hot bath while praying that the pain would go away.

I was worried that I would wake up feeling worse the next morning, but it actually was much better. Which is good, because my plan to have a really lovely, last day in Miami went to hell, so at least I could justify staying another day by the sheer fact that I could not have physically walked through the airport the day before.

It was raining that morning, but the sun came out and it looked hopeful. We were planning on swimming at some point, so I packed but left all swim items and extra clothing in an easily accessible bag, being that we had to check out. Our flight was not until 7PM.

We had been trying all weekend to see Hun's Grandparents (he saw them on Friday but it was not great timing, and I was not with him).

Try getting together with two lovely 90 something year olds (K"H)
It's too early
It's too late
It's too hot
It's too cold
It's too far
I'm waiting for the mail to come.......

They were originally going to hang at the pool with us like they did last year, but ..... the rain.

We went to "Tasti De-lite" Cafe, which we did many times the previous year.

I will just say this. I love, love, love their food, but the place is tiny. They have outdoor seating, and when we arrived, Hun's Grandparents already had tables under umbrellas all dried off and ready for us (the rain had stopped at this point) so I had to sit there.

Our food was not even out yet and it began to rain again, although the rain was light and the Umbrellas did a great job at keeping us completely dry and out of harm. There was no place to sit inside anyway.

The drinks came and the rain began to pick up, and then the wind.

Now Hun and his Grandfather were sitting against the cafe wall, but my back was open to the elements and the wind began to cause the rain to hit my back. And it was starting to come down hard.

We actually had to go inside for cover, but when I say tiny, I mean TINY. Not only was there no where to sit, there was no where to stand.

They apparently have a small upstairs as well and we were told that a table for four was being cleaned up. I was all ready to go upstairs, but then we asked how many steps there were.

21!

And Hun's Grandparents were not about to climb 21 steps.

So I asked one owner if he could politely ask the table of four young people who did not have food yet, only drinks if they would be willing to move upstairs.

The owner said he would ask, but only when the table was all clean and ready.

Well he disappeared and the table was ready and the other owner refused to ask them.

SO I DID!

It was a young guy and woman (maybe in their later 30's). They had two teenagers with them. I assumed they were one family, but I have no idea. But they all looked young enough to climb 21 steps.

"Excuse me, I don't mean to be a bother, but is there any way you would be willing to take a freshly clean table for four upstairs? I would have no problem going up, but my Grandparents can not climb the steps."

The woman looked at me like she was about to say yes, and then she looked across at the guy, and then he looked at me like I asked him to run 13.1 miles for an amazing cause.

He responded,
"I'll tell you what, why don't I give you one of our tables (a table that fits 2) and you can all gather around it?"

"Oh really, you want to move this table for 2 over into the tiny aisle that goes from the door to the back of the cafe and have two 90 year olds and my husband, myself AND a stroller with a baby in it gather around it?"

He looked at me and finally realized he was a SHIThead, but then he didn't really care.

So I responded,

"Never mind, I can see it would be a BURDEN for you"

The woman actually looked like she was sorry. She gave a look like she had to leave it to him to make the decision.

I was curious and asked where she was from.

They were from Baltimore, but she was originally from Chicago.

Well this just got interesting...

She told me her maiden name, and that her parents lived in a certain Condo building that I was familiar with, but I could not place her name.

Then she told me her sister is a principal at a specific day school, and then I knew exactly who she was.

And because her husband, or whoever he was did not already have enough lack of care and consideration, he said,

"Mrs. W. (the principal) would have gone upstairs for you."

And then he began laughing.

And then I asked him,
"Where are you from originally"

"New Jersey."

Well that about sums that up.

So I coughed into my hand, "cough - shithead - cough".

And the rain had died down and some guy re-wiped our table and we went outside for another try.

And then the rain began again and kicked our asses this time and we went back in, just as shithead was leaving (they never even got food, just drinks). At this point, as he let the door swing closed on me and the soaking wet stroller with the baby in it, he said,
"you can have our table now".

Thanks for nothing $%%$ *&@#$@ (*&^%!!!!

And then the flooding began.

We got in just in time, while shithead had to walk a block in the rain without rain gear to retrieve his car.

But then he is not too bright.

When we left, I was bright enough to make rain coats out of huge garbage bags from the cafe for everyone to wear. Because I am caring and considerate.

And when I say flooding, I mean flooding. Some guy walked into the cafe with his pants rolled up and his shoes in his hands. And because of the very intimate setting in the cafe, we all got to admire his feet.

We left and drove Hun's Grandparents home, and then we decided to take a boat ride.

Remember, the unexpected, free upgrade we got from a full sized car, to a minivan?

Well thank G-d we did have the minivan. If I only captured video of the motorcycles and mopeds we saw maneuvering these streets...

And we could hardly see where we were going because the "defogger" was not working in the van.

We returned to the hotel, and the rain was now consistent. By this time we had to rearrange our luggage and actually head out and return the car. So much for our last day in Miami. At least we got a fabulous dining experience and a boat ride out of it.

We arrived at the car return shortly after 5 PM.

Remember the "warning" I received, that I would be charged a percentage of another day if I did not return the car at 3:30 (the time I picked it up). I was about to negotiate over that, or just adamantly refuse to pay it. But the guy who took the car back, pre-empted me by telling me that he was supposed to charge me because the car was not there at 3:30, but he would waive that fee.

I think they can smell my negotiating tactics on me and just give it to me without the hassle.

So I also added,

"and the defogger was not working all day and we couldn't see out the window."

"No problem, I'll remove 15 bucks for that."

The car that I reserved via "Hotwire" for an original total price of 120.00 for the entire 5 day weekend, ended up costing 60.00 dollars. HALF THE PRICE!!!

The flight home was pretty uneventful .... well, except for one moment.

I was not allowed to get the stroller, gate tickets until we were boarding. We were the last seats on the plane, so we were in group 1 to board. As soon as I removed Bam from the stroller, just before boarding, I could smell it.

Oh, and then I could see it.

All down his leg and up his back.

So I carried him across my arms on his belly like I was playing that airplane game with him all the way down the aisle of the longest plane ever.

I took the closet bathroom in the back before take off and had to practically give him a bath in the basin (that they tell you to wipe down in consideration for the next person - hopefully I did not leave anything behind).

I could hear the flight attendant on the phone outside, probably talking to the captain, that she was just waiting on one passenger who was in the bathroom cleaning up a baby.

So Bam's explosion held up the plane, but like I said in a previous post, bombs in the nether region on planes might do that.

And we were off to Chicago.

This Race Is L - I - C - K - E - D !!!!

Sleep escaped me. I mean, Bam coughing (oh did I mention the obnoxious cough he came down with in Miami) and Hun's snoring aside, I just could not get a good night's sleep.

I set my phone to go off at 3:45, but of course I was already awake before then. By the way, to the makers of LG phones - do you have to make the LCD screens so friggin' bright. I swear my eyeballs were burning.

I got my running gear on and makeup. Oh, yes, I put on makeup before a 13.1 mile run. I mean, how crappy do I have to look? Truth be told though, I probably looked worse with the makeup, seeing as I put it on in the dark. I did not want to wake Hun and Bam, because I am a kind and considerate wife and mother. So I also got down on the extremely cold tile floor near the bathroom area (away from the carpeted sleeping quarters) to do my stretching, so as not to wake the family. That woke the rest of me up as soon as I sat down.

I double checked that all the baby gear and formula and clothing was all in place for Bam, as Hun was to get him ready at 6 something and get to the spectator shuttle by 7:30. I would already be running by then.

I ate a banana and a granola bar and drank a full 16 oz bottle of water as I waited in the lobby with the other members of "Team Lifeline" just before 4:30 when we would board the shuttle to the start line.





A whole bunch of us Chicago to Miami marathoners at 4:30 AM
Don't we look bright eyed and bushy tailed?


My feelings at this point, and pretty much all the way through the end of the race, were neutral. I can't really explain it. I was not nervous. I was not overly excited. I was not scared. I was not anxious. I just ...... was.

I embarked the shuttle and arrived outside the arena and walked casually along with my friend Rayli as if I was going ..... anywhere. I could have been walking into a mall, or a concert, it did not matter what exactly I was about to do, there was no noticeable emotion to make any distinction to me between running a half marathon and walking upstairs to take a shower.

We exited the shuttle and noticed all the lines in front of porta potties and then we came up with the brilliant idea to run across the street to the "Holiday Inn" and use a proper, working, flushable toilet. And obviously many before us had the same idea because that bathroom stench was just the same as a porta potty. But at least I did not have to worry about accidentally glancing down a hole and seeing way more than I needed to.

I went with Rayli to check in her gear (which was nice of me, considering I specifically brought nothing with me because I did not want to spend time at gear check) and then we had to find our starting corrals.

We went looking for corral "J" but saw no one else from "Team Lifeline" and then finally noticed the entire team at the start line. A picture of the entire team was about to be taken and we showed up just in time to be hardly seen on the far right end, but we are in the shot nonetheless.

If you look all the way to your left and find the black and white "White Sox" hat, then you have found me. It's like playing "Where's Waldo"...

So

Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them.

So after this shot was taken we broke off and went off to our pre-determined starting corrals (which meant really going to the pre-determined corral of a friend who was one letter ahead of me) and we waited.

We waited for someone to sing the national anthem, we waited through hype and a whole lot of yelling and cheering. And we waited as random beach balls were thrown around and more specifically, I waited for one huge beach ball to whack me in the head and snap my neck back, which is like my "Achilles". I mean seriously, I had no idea how much pain a huge, oversize beach ball could cause to the weakest spot on my body. Did I need to get taken out before the race even started?

At 6:15 some smoke shot out of the starting line and some confetti fell and whoever was at the edge of the start line was now crossing it. It took almost 20 more minutes until those of us from corral "J" were crossing the start line and then it took way more time for me to be able to run without stepping on the heels of hundreds of other runners.

The humidity was ghastly. It was not a factor I could prepare for. I had been training in 32 degree extremely dry weather. I was running over two hours straight without the need to stop for any water. But the humidity took me out before the race even began. I also had to somehow become an expert at the art of weaving in and out of people, another factor that did not exist during training. I stopped (meaning, slowed down, not actually stopping) at every water station and grabbed two cups of water. One I drank and one I poured over me, many times directly in my face. Did you ever abruptly throw water in your face. It causes you to immediately shut your airway from the water and then gasp a deep breath and it would totally wake me up and invigorate me.

The problem came at mile 4. The sun was up and the humidity had dispersed, the air was cool and now there was even a crisp breeze. But, due to all the water I had been throwing on myself, I suddenly felt cold and as if I had the chills, like fluish. But I was immediately distracted from my chills by the extremely "flamboyant" spectators in this part of town. Let's just say, I would not be able to guess the average female to male ratio in this part of town because there was much gender confusion.

And on I ran.

I did not feel pain in any specific part of my body. I did not feel cramping. I did notice that every time I slowed down at a water station, my knees felt stiff in that small moment that I began to pick up speed again. I never once stopped at a porta potty.

In Chicago, I averaged between 11-12 minute miles. I was not certain that I was still at that pace at miles 7 and 8. Whoever said Miami was completely flat, totally lied. We had to cross many small bridges. I was slow going up and tried to make up for it coming down, but I know I also lost time because the bridges were grated and it was a really awkward feeling on the feet to run over the grated area.

At mile 10, the father of Koppie (the boy, in whose memory I was running) and I spotted each other. He was a spectator and his wife was walking the race somewhere behind me. But I slowed down for some picture taking...




Yup! That's me at mile 10. And I am still smiling.


And on I ran.

I have to say, I pretty much ran the entire way. I think I walked for a minute, a total of three times , somewhere between miles 9 and 11 just so I could re motivate myself.

But when I saw Hun and Bam somewhere after mile 12, just before mile 13 (after stopping again for a photo op) I was completely reinvigorated, just in time for my last mile plus.

Hi Hun!!!


And then I entered this area called "The mile 13 chute".

It was like running under an inflatable arch all the way to the finish line.

I DID IT!!!!

I crossed that finish line and I was still standing.

Okay, so my time totally and utterly sucked.

My main goal was to finish under the official allotted time of 3 hours,
which I did.

I was not expecting better than 2:45 because I knew that I never pushed myself past a pace of 5.3.

I knew my friend Rayli who usually ran at a pace of 6.0 would totally beat me.

I came in at about 2:53 chip time (the time from crossing the start line to crossing the finish line), 17 tragic minutes after my friend Rayli.

But, I was the second to cross the line out of all the Chicago members of "Team Lifeline". And there were still thousands of people who came in after me.

And now I have a time to beat.

(It's just slightly pathetic when at the same time you are finishing a half marathon, there are also those that are finishing the full marathon .... just saying.)

I got myself a medal and went off to find the "Team Lifeline" tent.

All I had at the tent was half a granola bar and just a few sips of Powerade and still had no need for a bathroom. ..... because all my fluid found its way to my face and fingers. My hands were so swollen from fluid retention, I never even had fingers that size in any of my pregnancies.

And I went off to look for Rayli, and to my dismay, she was slightly "weathered" after the race. So I decided to get into nurse mode and help her out (help her now, make fun of her later).

I was very happy we did not have to peel her off the pavement, just had to pick her up off the grass.


After we revived her with some ice to the neck, Hun, Bam, and I walked with her to get her gear, so that we could then walk seven more blocks to get to the shuttle back to the hotel.

The irony-
we just WILLINGLY completed a 13.1 mile run and now we were reluctantly dragging ourselves seven more blocks to catch our ride home .

AND SHE'S UP!!!
(I know Rayli, but if we can't laugh now, when can we laugh?)


So, I am officially a half marathoner. My kids can talk about me one day when I am old and wrinkly and say,

"Remember when Ma was in her prime and she was able to run 13.1 miles .... who wants the medal when she croaks???"

I am so ready to do this again.

In The Meantime, Lick This

Sorry!

I owe you all the final lick.

But race day will have to wait

(hopefully by Monday)

because I have been working on this -



My sweet Ro has turned 6, and she is having the most awesome birthday party this weekend.

I have managed to put together something that did not cause me heart palpitations and will not stress me out. So with the energy not expended, I made a cake.

And if you can tell who the character is, depicted, then my cake is....












....GOOD ENOUGH!!!

But more on this fine piece of art (ahem, ahem) after the weekend, as well.