Thursday, March 11, 2010

In A Funk

I feel like I am being pulled in ten different directions. We all go through it at some time, especially the wives and mothers of the universe. But, these past few weeks have been both joyous and unner
ving and I do not see any rest for the weary in my future.

A few weeks ago we celebrated the holi
day "PURIM". I will not do a whole post about it because it just seems like it happened so long ago. But we do dress up for that holiday and I will include one picture of the children.

If you can guess who they are ..... well then ..... you are genius.

Life here has been hectic because there have been many unfortunate changes within the family.

My Mother-in-law who is an amazing person that I am extremely fortunate to have a great relationship with is scarce these days.

I have become spoiled by her frequent offers to babysit or have the children over in the past, but she has been in California indefinitely. Unfortunately, she had been attending to the needs of her brother's family as his wife is tragically being treated for cancer.

My Dad became violently ill not too long ago and it was so out of the ordinary for him that my mother begged him to go to the hospital in middle of the night.

Out of seven kids in our family, I and my baby brother are the only ones living in Chicago where my parents reside. I AM A DAUGHTER!!! That means, I am typically the one HERE to take on the role of "parent keeper".

I told my Mom if he is still not well the next day he must go to the Doctor and have a blood draw...

He was feeling better and did not have a blood draw.

Not that the Doctor would have helped anyway because he has a Sh#%head for a Doctor. I know this, because I went to that Doctor too and unless you have a cold, he doesn't pursue anything in the way of finding the problem in order to get to a solution.

I have been begging my Dad for years to get a new Doctor, but I think he feels safe with a Doctor who tells him that everything is A - OK all the time.

My parents went to Israel not too long ago and two days after they arrived there, I received a phone call from my brother that started like this,

"I don't want to scare you, but Dad is in the Hospital...."

Well guess what?

I am friggin' scared!

But G-d works in mysterious ways.

He was staying at my sister, the one who is a nurse over the weekend, when he had a violent attack much like the one he had previously in Chicago. She works at a hospital just a few blocks from her home, and took him there immediately.

There they discovered he has gallstones and his recent illnesses were therefor gallstone attacks.

But after two days of IV antibiotics and medicines, they determined he was not an emergent case and could finish out his trip and safely return to Chicago and find a surgeon here.

Since then, I have been emotionally vested and physically making myself available to help find Doctors and follow up with what direction they would take. And one great thing to come out of this, my Dad also finally agreed to find a new Primary Care Physician.

Two days ago I was in the hospital with my Mom while my Dad had his gallbladder removed and I am THANKFUL that it all seemed to have gone well and he is home now recuperating.

I feel relieved that this "problem" can be checked off, however, it has me facing a cold reality that I do not like.

I wish my parents a loooooooong and healthy life (ad meah v'esrim shana). But, they are not young, and I feel my time being split now, between taking care of my own children, and my lovely aging parents.

I do not have many siblings around "physically" to participate in this new routine of mine (however, all the siblings make many phone calls and participate in decision making). And as an emotional person, these episodes sadden me and put me in a funk.

So that is where I have been lately....


Any wise one want to tell me how to get out of it?

5 have shown Orah a little love:

elisha said...

i don't know how to get out of it but i hope everyone stays healthy for a long time!! my parents are aging too (83 and 67) and it is hard to face the reality.

adinab said...

well, i can't relate to the being at the stage where we have to parent our parents so to speak, but i can imagine how difficult that can feel at times. i CAN however, realate to being in a funk, as i've been in one on and off for quite some time now. all i can say is that you need to focus on the positive stuff and find things to make you laugh and smile wherever you can. sometimes a delicious hug or funny statement from the kids makes you appreciate the wonderful things you have and can take you out of that funk (if only for a while)or going someplace fun with friends..(can you say BEP?)will help to let off some steam and help you relax. it can't take away the cause of the funkiness, but it can def make you feel a lot better.
if that doesn't work chocolate always helps (or for those so inclined, alcohol!!!)

Shosh said...

my parents are still relatively young (60) but im already dreading what i know is coming. im my parents only kid in the city also. getting old is scary! i hope your father has a complete refuah very soon!

Anonymous said...

I can't relate so much either, but I would say, REALLY ENJOY the time that you spend with them. Pesach is around the corner and I am sure you'll be spending lots of time with your parents. Really take it in!! I try to do that too when my parents come to visit me, which feels like, "once in a yovel."
Everything is in Hashem's hands, but U can pray and most importantly enjoy your time w/ them and create some amazing memories!
- Miss. S

PS - and I agree w/ Adina, going out w/ friends or Hubby can def take ur mind somehwere else, to a place less stressful and more carefree. said...

I am so sorry to hear about you dad and your sister in law. I pray they will both be fine and am happy to hear that your dad is on his way to improved health.

Look at your Bam!!!! Big boy! :)

i too have been overwhelmed and absent from my computer.

i have missed you and think of you often.