Thursday, February 18, 2010

Miami 2010 is Yesterday

The race was over. All that I worked for, all that I trained for had culminated into these few final moments of celebration.

I kept imagining while I was running the last few miles (and feeling very hot) that I would get to the hotel, remove my stinky socks and sneakers and jump into the pool in my running clothes.

Of course, by the time I made it back to the hotel, my body had much time to cool off and the sweat that sat on my skin was causing me to feel quite cold and all I wanted to do now was get a hot coffee from the Starbucks in the lobby and sit in that really deep jacuzzi tub in my room.

That is what I did. I actually drank my skinny cinnamon dolce latte while in the tub and I almost passed out from overheating.

As time was passing, my muscles were feeling more and more worn out and it was getting hard for me to walk.
I am pretty sure that my gate made me look like I just got off a horse.

It was already time for the post - race v
ictory dinner in the hotel. However, when we arrived, all of the hot dogs and hamburgers were gone and because they rushed to bring out more, the burgers were seriously undercooked and quite raw in the center and I lost my appetite. I figured we would just order food later from somewhere (which we did). But first, I very intelligently made the decision to take a walk on the boardwalk (because running 13.1 miles that morning was not enough to keep me from making my legs move).

We had time to bask in the warmth and sun of Miami, because I made plans to stay until Monday night, taking into consideration that post-race I would be too sore to get my act together to fly home and sit in one tight spot for 3 hours on an a$$ that felt like it had taken a serious beating.

The wind was beginning to pick up and it was obvious that rain was on its way, but we took advantage of the fact that it was still pleasant enough to be outside.


I like birds in Miami. They are just more "tropical" than birds in Chicago and they sing better.

We checked out the pool at the "Fontainebleu" hotel and decided that this is where we would go swimming the next day. (Well, we shall see how that idea turns out.)

And we took Bam to the beach. This was a better view for him than last year. Last year we took the older three kids to Miami and Bam's only view was a bit murky and that of a placenta and uterus. Yes, I was 7 months pregnant with him last year, this time.

And then we had to return to the hotel for the 5 PM massage I booked.


I am not one who usually pays for spa massages. I do have a serious need for massages due to some neck and upper back issues. However, I discovered that if I go to a "massage therapist" at my Chiropractor's office, then my insurance pays for it.

But every so often, I treat myself. And I figured, after 13.1 miles of running, now was the time, if any.

When I booked the appointment (from Chicago) I ascertained that this particular massage was deep tissue and would be good for a post- half marathon run. I was also told that I could tell the attendant to focus on the areas that were in most need of massage.

1. That was so NOT deep tissue. It felt like a feather was floating over me.

2. After I told her I just ran the marathon and my legs and hips and back were in most need of massage, she still decided to follow her stupid routine.
Uh, lady - my arms really do not need ten minutes each and the last fifteen minutes that you spent on my scalp was a bit excessive, don't u think.

3. They told me after the massage that 18 friggin' % gratuity was added to the already astronomical price.

When I did a double take and said,
"huh, 18% gratuity is added???"

the receptionist said,
"oh yes, but you could give her more if you want to."


The only good that came from that massage is that I fell asleep.

You can ask my husband, if Orah is pissed about spending money on a spa massage, then YOU KNOW that massage SUCKED!!!

After the massage I realized I was walking worse than before the massage and my legs were so sore, especially my right hip and glutes area.

I went back to my room and Bam was napping and Hun was laptopping so I took a book and went to the lobby. Only, the Eden Roc does not really have a "lobby" per se. It is actually a bar. And really annoying music plays in this lobby/bar. And at this time of night, a waitress is rearranging the furniture for the nighttime influx of idiots who should really go find a better bar. And then the lights dimmed and I could no longer see my book. And I was getting really hungry, because, funny thing, I ran 13.1 miles and had nothing since than, other than half a granola bar, a baked potato and half a hot dog and a bite of raw meat.

So I went back to my room, hoping Bam was awake and he was not. It also began pouring at this point and I no longer felt the need to go out to eat with the baby when I could just send Hun out into a small Hurricane. I also needed Hun to buy some zip lock bags so I could ice myself.

Hun went to retrieve food (poor thing) and my bags and I think I inhaled the food before he made it all the way in the door. He graciously filled my bags with ice from the hotel ice machine and I had about 6 bags of ice all over me and under me. And after icing and getting cold all over again, I decided to take another hot bath while praying that the pain would go away.

I was worried that I would wake up feeling worse the next morning, but it actually was much better. Which is good, because my plan to have a really lovely, last day in Miami went to hell, so at least I could justify staying another day by the sheer fact that I could not have physically walked through the airport the day before.

It was raining that morning, but the sun came out and it looked hopeful. We were planning on swimming at some point, so I packed but left all swim items and extra clothing in an easily accessible bag, being that we had to check out. Our flight was not until 7PM.

We had been trying all weekend to see Hun's Grandparents (he saw them on Friday but it was not great timing, and I was not with him).

Try getting together with two lovely 90 something year olds (K"H)
It's too early
It's too late
It's too hot
It's too cold
It's too far
I'm waiting for the mail to come.......

They were originally going to hang at the pool with us like they did last year, but ..... the rain.

We went to "Tasti De-lite" Cafe, which we did many times the previous year.

I will just say this. I love, love, love their food, but the place is tiny. They have outdoor seating, and when we arrived, Hun's Grandparents already had tables under umbrellas all dried off and ready for us (the rain had stopped at this point) so I had to sit there.

Our food was not even out yet and it began to rain again, although the rain was light and the Umbrellas did a great job at keeping us completely dry and out of harm. There was no place to sit inside anyway.

The drinks came and the rain began to pick up, and then the wind.

Now Hun and his Grandfather were sitting against the cafe wall, but my back was open to the elements and the wind began to cause the rain to hit my back. And it was starting to come down hard.

We actually had to go inside for cover, but when I say tiny, I mean TINY. Not only was there no where to sit, there was no where to stand.

They apparently have a small upstairs as well and we were told that a table for four was being cleaned up. I was all ready to go upstairs, but then we asked how many steps there were.


And Hun's Grandparents were not about to climb 21 steps.

So I asked one owner if he could politely ask the table of four young people who did not have food yet, only drinks if they would be willing to move upstairs.

The owner said he would ask, but only when the table was all clean and ready.

Well he disappeared and the table was ready and the other owner refused to ask them.


It was a young guy and woman (maybe in their later 30's). They had two teenagers with them. I assumed they were one family, but I have no idea. But they all looked young enough to climb 21 steps.

"Excuse me, I don't mean to be a bother, but is there any way you would be willing to take a freshly clean table for four upstairs? I would have no problem going up, but my Grandparents can not climb the steps."

The woman looked at me like she was about to say yes, and then she looked across at the guy, and then he looked at me like I asked him to run 13.1 miles for an amazing cause.

He responded,
"I'll tell you what, why don't I give you one of our tables (a table that fits 2) and you can all gather around it?"

"Oh really, you want to move this table for 2 over into the tiny aisle that goes from the door to the back of the cafe and have two 90 year olds and my husband, myself AND a stroller with a baby in it gather around it?"

He looked at me and finally realized he was a SHIThead, but then he didn't really care.

So I responded,

"Never mind, I can see it would be a BURDEN for you"

The woman actually looked like she was sorry. She gave a look like she had to leave it to him to make the decision.

I was curious and asked where she was from.

They were from Baltimore, but she was originally from Chicago.

Well this just got interesting...

She told me her maiden name, and that her parents lived in a certain Condo building that I was familiar with, but I could not place her name.

Then she told me her sister is a principal at a specific day school, and then I knew exactly who she was.

And because her husband, or whoever he was did not already have enough lack of care and consideration, he said,

"Mrs. W. (the principal) would have gone upstairs for you."

And then he began laughing.

And then I asked him,
"Where are you from originally"

"New Jersey."

Well that about sums that up.

So I coughed into my hand, "cough - shithead - cough".

And the rain had died down and some guy re-wiped our table and we went outside for another try.

And then the rain began again and kicked our asses this time and we went back in, just as shithead was leaving (they never even got food, just drinks). At this point, as he let the door swing closed on me and the soaking wet stroller with the baby in it, he said,
"you can have our table now".

Thanks for nothing $%%$ *&@#$@ (*&^%!!!!

And then the flooding began.

We got in just in time, while shithead had to walk a block in the rain without rain gear to retrieve his car.

But then he is not too bright.

When we left, I was bright enough to make rain coats out of huge garbage bags from the cafe for everyone to wear. Because I am caring and considerate.

And when I say flooding, I mean flooding. Some guy walked into the cafe with his pants rolled up and his shoes in his hands. And because of the very intimate setting in the cafe, we all got to admire his feet.

We left and drove Hun's Grandparents home, and then we decided to take a boat ride.

Remember, the unexpected, free upgrade we got from a full sized car, to a minivan?

Well thank G-d we did have the minivan. If I only captured video of the motorcycles and mopeds we saw maneuvering these streets...

And we could hardly see where we were going because the "defogger" was not working in the van.

We returned to the hotel, and the rain was now consistent. By this time we had to rearrange our luggage and actually head out and return the car. So much for our last day in Miami. At least we got a fabulous dining experience and a boat ride out of it.

We arrived at the car return shortly after 5 PM.

Remember the "warning" I received, that I would be charged a percentage of another day if I did not return the car at 3:30 (the time I picked it up). I was about to negotiate over that, or just adamantly refuse to pay it. But the guy who took the car back, pre-empted me by telling me that he was supposed to charge me because the car was not there at 3:30, but he would waive that fee.

I think they can smell my negotiating tactics on me and just give it to me without the hassle.

So I also added,

"and the defogger was not working all day and we couldn't see out the window."

"No problem, I'll remove 15 bucks for that."

The car that I reserved via "Hotwire" for an original total price of 120.00 for the entire 5 day weekend, ended up costing 60.00 dollars. HALF THE PRICE!!!

The flight home was pretty uneventful .... well, except for one moment.

I was not allowed to get the stroller, gate tickets until we were boarding. We were the last seats on the plane, so we were in group 1 to board. As soon as I removed Bam from the stroller, just before boarding, I could smell it.

Oh, and then I could see it.

All down his leg and up his back.

So I carried him across my arms on his belly like I was playing that airplane game with him all the way down the aisle of the longest plane ever.

I took the closet bathroom in the back before take off and had to practically give him a bath in the basin (that they tell you to wipe down in consideration for the next person - hopefully I did not leave anything behind).

I could hear the flight attendant on the phone outside, probably talking to the captain, that she was just waiting on one passenger who was in the bathroom cleaning up a baby.

So Bam's explosion held up the plane, but like I said in a previous post, bombs in the nether region on planes might do that.

And we were off to Chicago.

3 have shown Orah a little love:

Rayli said...

wow... you had the weekend from hell! Mine was so much more enjoyable! Although I did have to walk about 3 miles to my gate at the airport. I felt fine, but with your hip problem, you would have died! Would love to know who the jerk was from baltimore! Do we know the wife?

DESJ and Company said...

I need more mnemonics!!!
There are what....22 bones to memorize?! Continue on, woman! said...

What a story!!!

From the massage ( I would have been pi$$ed) to the restaurant IDIOT!

And the flood! That is a serious flood. Wow, does that happen often.

one more thing...that Bam explosion...calgon take me away.

Glad you are home safe and sound after your big adventure :)