Monday, January 11, 2010

Heaven Is My Travel Companion

Oh, the joys of traveling...


I have been busy since my last post, preparing to travel from one State to another State. And the State I am most focused on, is my STATE of mind.

It is a very pleasant state of mind, peaceful, calm, without anyone around to yell about who touched whose barbie and who "accidentally" swung their foot purposefully with due caution under the dinner table at someone elses body part.

I have only arrived less than 3 hours ago, and dare I say it, I am rather enjoying my little getaway.

I was expecting the worse, from the moment I left to the airport, thanks to one gracious man from Yemen, who thought lighting a match near his underwear would relieve his fellow passengers of the ung-dly stench that often permeates through airplane cabins. (Seriously - to the dude who dropped the stink bomb just as he was passing my seat when boarding the plane - underwear bombs now fall under the category of "TERROR ACTIVITY" so please stop, less I seek you out and turn your terrorist ASS (pun-intended) in. But, security ran pretty smoothly.

Well, I did require a pat-down of my cranium, because as an Orthodox Jewish Married Woman, I cover my hair with hats that are not permitted to be removed in public. (Should I tell them about all my Jewish friends as well as Cancer patients who are walking through without "pat downs" even though they are wearing a very natural hair-like wig???) Do you think they pat down those guy's heads, you know, those guys who think they are fooling everyone with their rat's hair toupees?

Anyway - thanks for the scalp massage, much appreciated.

My gate was conveniently just across from Starbucks, so thank you for that as well.

My dad was with me and is no spring chicken, so he gets himself on the plane before the suckas who payed for first class, and I get to go with him - thank you for that.

Thank you to the kind and considerate person who did not show up to sit in the seat next to me, I tip my hat to THAT person.

Thanks for the gentle sleep inducing flying motion of the plane, I did need a nap.

I am grateful, exceptionally grateful to the working landing gear and smooth landing at Newark airport.


I do like the fact that we arrived an hour early. And if that was not awesome enough, we did not have to make up that whole EARLY hour by waiting an hour for a gate to become available, because the gate was just waiting for us in all its shining glory.

Uh ... I did think that someone forgot to tell our luggage we arrived an hour early. Either that, or we had to wait for the New Jersey Union workers - Tony, Franky and Tito, to put down their bongs and pizza and throw our luggage on the conveyor belt.

Oh, and I am thankful for my sister who came to pick me up, promptly after the luggage finally showed.

And to my Mom, who is also at my sisters house - that steak dinner was divine. Frankly, I would have enjoyed eating styrofoam sprinkled with pepper, if it meant eating it without tiny little food thieves stealing food right out of my mouth, and of course the aforementioned under table leg wrestling.

And to use a bathroom, without someone banging on the door two seconds after I get in there ..... it's like New Jersey has somehow become a little, tiny piece of Heaven. (And I don't think those words will ever come out of my mouth again.)

I'll be here until Wednesday. My cousin is getting married tomorrow night. And as pleasant as it has been going thus far (and please G-d, keep up the good work) there is only so much time without the kids, before I miss them terribly.

And here's hoping that time only comes when I see them again on Wednesday.

(And welcome to my new blog followers, hope you stick around.)

7 have shown Orah a little love:

Anonymous said...

Farts on an airplane are the worst!! Especially when that stinky "hot" air will just be recycled back into the cabin. But if a little passage of gas is the worst thing you endured then I'd say you had purty sweeet flight.

I'd rather they'd pat down my head then ask me to lift up my damn hat w/ my damnn "hat" hair showing.

No full body scans at security? What a disappointment :(
- Miss S.

Donna said...

Enjoy the mini kidless vacation and the wedding and have safe travels and look forward to your next post. Always love hearing from you.

christy rose said...

You are funny! I hope you enjoy your getaway and do not miss your kiddos too much!

Rayli said...

gave you an award on my blog today....

while i cry over leaving my kids in 2 go enjoy !

Candice said...

People who fart on airplanes should be ejected out the damn door of the plane.

The people with BO can follow them right on out! said...

I love your attitude of gratitude :)

Ewww with the gasser!

Hope the wedding went wonderfully!

Lesli said...

Congrats on a peaceful trip without the little ones!!! I hope you have a great time, sounds like a lot of fun..found your blog through and wanted to say hello..can't wait to read more of your blog, you have a beautiful family!!