Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Gone But Not Forgotten

This will probably not be the most pleasant of my posts, especially after taking a hiatus for a while. I had a bummer of a day and it is only 1:30 in the afternoon. This post will come in two parts - two parts of my day that coincide.

The first part of my day came in the form of a funeral. There was nothing extremely extraordinary about this particular funeral. The good friend of my parents who passed away had been ill with terminal cancer for quite some time and most recently had been in a coma for weeks, but the quality this person encompassed is what makes the loss all too sad.

Mrs. M. was full of life. She must have been in her early 80's, but these days, so long as your safe and blessed with good health, 80 does not have to mean your demise. In the past couple years, Mrs. M. was no longer blessed with good health, but you would never know it by looking at her. She always had a smile on her face. She always had something delightfully humorous and spirited to say. She lived life as if it truly meant something. And for her, it meant an enormous amount because she was also a Holocaust survivor. For her, everything about life was luxury, because the way she saw it, she was fortunate just to have life.

On a more personal level, she was a woman I have beautiful memories of from the time I was a small child. She was such a close friend to my parents, that we shared many weekend meals, celebrations and events together. It has become blatantly obvious to me, that at my age of only 34 I am personally sharing in the loss of her and many of my parents' other friends. And this is the part that is painful for me.

Most of my friends are the oldest in their families, and their parents are only in their 50's, maybe early 60's. My oldest sister is already 51, so the all too real truth of where the cycle of life leads is becoming ever present in my life, and it scares the sh$# out of me.

I pray that my parents will forever have good health and longevity, but we all know that life is fleeting and one day it will be the end for all of us. I am just not ready at my age to even bear the thought of what could be lurking around the corner. And for all those my age or younger who lost parents way before their time, my heart goes out to them. I don't know how they make it without the parental advice and pearls of wisdom that should have been available to them for many more years.

I left the funeral and watched as my parents joined the procession (taking the body to the airport to be buried in Israel). They were probably the only non-family members who joined the procession to the airport, that is how close they felt to this wonderful woman.

Mrs. M. - I will try to take and pass on a valuable lesson from you so your life will continue to have meaning even though you are no longer with us. When I heard your daughter speak her eulogy of you, she mentioned a few times how you did not let things bother you for much time. You did not bear a grudge. You let things go quickly. When your daughter once became upset with you for letting a pot of fish boil over on her new stove, and subsequently felt bad for her unnecessary anger, she came to you to apologize and you said,

"for what... I don't know what you are talking about...


So this is my new motto.


I will learn to let things slide. Because after all, life is fleeting, why should I waste so much time being upset over things.

But who knew I would be able to actually put this motto into place just a few hours after the funeral?

And so the second part of my day took place at my local grocery store.

Although I am a savvy couponer, (my mother taught me this art when I was quite young) I am not one for blogging about my couponing experiences. I enjoy reading about other peoples incredible coupon domination, but I personally do not find excitement in talking about my own coupon prowess. But today, I will share one coupon moment which began to go bad.

I would have gone straight to the grocery store from the funeral, but I specifically drove home first just to retrieve my coupons. I knew exactly what I needed, many things already discounted and I had a plethora of coupons and Catalinas. Many of my items were actually "Proctor and Gamble" products, such as Pampers diapers and wipes, and I was looking forward to making my "P&G" purchases because when spending over 20 dollars on these products I would receive a coupon for 5 dollars off my next shopping order and 5 free Redbox videos. That is pretty much like handing me 10.00 in addition to the 50.00 I saved with coupons on products I was already spending less on because they were the specials this week at Jewel.

In addition, I was smart enough to separate out two piles of "P&G" products to be rung up separately, because it was over 40 dollars all together and would have given me two Catalinas worth 10 dollars each.

Both my grocery orders were rung up and I watched all the Catalinas coming out of the Catalina machine (Catalinas are the coupons that are printed at the store and given to you at the end of your purchase). After I signed for the second order, was when the cashier grabbed the Catalinas and looked at them before turning to me cautiously and announcing,

"Uhhhh, it seems that these Catalinas all came out blank."

"What did you say? Ha ha - for a second I thought you said that all those Catalinas are blank and useless."

"Yeah, that is kind of what I am saying .... blank and useless."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What about all my coupons for future shopping? Aggggh - WHAT ABOUT MY 2 CATALINAS WORTH 10 DOLLARS EACH????

I was feeling very upset and angry. As the cashier and another Jewel employee tried to reset the Catalina machine and switched out the ink cartridge, all which did not help, I tried to think of Mrs. M.



It was hard, I will be honest. I was willing to just walk away from it all and let it go.

They did send me to customer service to see if they could help me. I was offered to have my entire transaction (a lot of stuff) voided and re-rung at another register. But life is short, and I did not want to spend that much time of my valuable life waiting to re-ring my groceries when I could just say,


I did, however pull out the two most available "P&G" products, diapers and wipes and have them voided and re-rung with my original coupons to at least get me one Catalina for the future 5 dollars towards purchase and 5 free Redbox videos. And guess what? Although this register had a working Catalina machine, that particular coupon still did not show up.

Oh gosh -




But the customer service representative actually got on the phone and called the Catalina company and was given a code to manually print me out the damn coupon.

And in the end, I did walk away with at least one coupon worth ten dollars and the rest ....

....uhh, I forget.

Mrs. M. you may be gone, but YOU will never be forgotten.

6 have shown Orah a little love:

Heidi @ Tayterjaq's Rebels said...

Sorry about your loss. It is hard to lose anyone you are close to.
I am also very sorry about the whole Catalina mess. Those machines can be a real pain sometimes. Good for you to try to find something good from a very unfortunate event.

adinab said...

wow. did not know what kind of day you had. never would have complained about mine.

BD"H. which mrs. m is that? ari's mom?

Yaffa/Yitz said...

Hi Orah, I knew Mrs. M only from seeing her in shul all those years. She really did always have a smile on her face. May her family and all who loved her be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. said...

Mrs. M sounds like an amazing woman...a woman we should all learn from.

I am sorry about the loss of this precious woman, the loss for her family and friends.

The world is a lesser place without people like Mrs. M.

elisha said...

that is truly an admirable quality-to forget and not hold a grudge is very hard. she sounds very special

Candice said...

I'm sorry you had a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be brighter for you.