Head Banging

Yesterday was Yom Kippur, and I survived....




JUST BARELY.



I used to fast rather well. In fact, I used to fast REALLY well, until a few years ago. I suspect the change might have to do with the recent caffeine fix I developed. I actually do not feel the need for coffee every day if I can eat, but if I do not have food in me, I apparently at least need the coffee. And my caffeine fix only comes from that one cup in the morning. I do NOT drink soda or any other caffeinated drinks. I only eat chocolate from time to time, and I only have just that ONE cup of coffee a day. But when I have no food in my system, AND lack my coffee fix, I am like a druggie on her first day in rehab.

I get the shakes, and I think I might actually be sweating. And the migraine, oh LORD, the migraine...

Yom Kippur is our day of atonement. We have a hearty meal before the fast begins, this year - sundown Sunday night. And we may not eat ANYTHING or drink ANYTHING until sundown Monday night.

I was at Synagogue Monday morning until 2 pm and I felt the headache coming on. It did not help that the baby was having one of his off nights the night before and was not sleeping well. I had a babysitter at home watching four kids who were probably bored out of their minds. How many books could they read and how many board games could they play before they turned on each other? Well, I was not there, and what I did not know, could not hurt me.

On Yom Kippur the kids may eat, but they may not utilize electric objects, so no TV and no music. They could not take an outing to any child friendly activity center. They must have been going stir-crazy.

When I came home, my babysitter was still in our house sitting by as the kids were strangling each other watching with earnest as the kids played very LOUDLY. I crashed in my bed, but could not really sleep because the noise was unbearable. I felt throbbing in my head like a sledgehammer slamming into my frontal lobe over and over again. And the waves of nausea came on. I wanted to vomit, but there was nothing IN ME, TO throw up.

Hun, who was also napping, relieved the babysitter at 4:20 and then I had to (very reluctantly) relieve Hun at 4:50 so he could go back to Synagogue for the final evening prayers.

Bam woke up at 5 pm, and the earliest I could coerce my other 3 children into bed would be 6:30.

An hour and a half of pure joy with all 4 overtired, stir crazy and hyped up on G-d knows what amounts of sugar via babysitter that I was unaware of, children all with an ax just buried in my forehead and the feeling of being in a small dingy knocked over again and again by waves of nausea - terrific.

I had my 5 year old give her baby brother a bottle, which he did not really want, as I tried to lay on the couch and ignore the children. I could not ignore the fact that Ate was doing the "poo poo" dance. I grabbed him and put him on the toilet, that he very much let me know he did not want to be on. I left him there to do his biness, and I retreated to the couch while my baby lay on the floor with no toys just flailing his arms.

Now it felt as if someone had a clamp around my entire head just getting tighter and tighter over my temples, and someone could have been doing a lobotomy on me and I would be none the wiser.

Ate was finished and I had to clean him up. And the kids needed supper.

Supper? The girls had cookie crisp cereal and milk. Ate chose the slightly more nutritious, cheerios and milk, followed by cottage cheese. I was fortunate that Bam sat quietly in his chair while I fed the older three. Well, quietly besides the grunting noises he was making, because he was FINALLY unloading whatever it was that kept him up the night before.

I got the older three to bed by 6:30 and once the noise level in the house dropped, I was already feeling slightly better.

And by slightly, I mean, the clamp was removed but the ax was still embedded, and I got off the dingy but I was still standing on a floating, bobbing dock.

On my way down stairs from putting the older three to bed, I could smell the stench of what Bam had done still sitting in his chair, which was not beneficial to my state of nausea. And then I opened his stretchy - holy mother of sh#$ (which was NOT the word I was thinking at the time, because IT WAS Yom Kippur after all).

It was probably his biggest load since he was born (not the most perfect time). I will spare you most details, but it was down his left leg.

After he emptied out, he then decided to fill up again, but thankfully he fell asleep just before 7 pm.

I still had at least a half hour until the end of Yom Kippur, so I went back to sleep as well. At about 7:30, I broke my fast (in bed) on two rapid release Tylenol capsules, a glass of ginger ale (it was decaffeinated, it was for the ginger, not caffeine), and a couple of pretzel rods. I went back to sleep until the baby woke up just before 8 pm, and Hun was not yet home.

Hun arrived home shortly after 8 pm and he was so helpful. Hun gave himself to eat and gave the baby to eat as well. I had no appetite (ironic, considering I had not eaten for 24 hours). I was feeling much better, but terribly tired. Hun took care of Bam for the duration of the evening and I high tailed it off to bed.

I seriously think that intravenous coffee drips should be allowed during Yom Kippur, it would have saved me a lot of problems.

And now, just one more year until we have to do this again.