Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'm Really Trying To Be A Consistent Blogger , but.............

I miss blogging on a consistent basis. I also realize, based on my last few posts, that the "funny" has left me. I have no idea where it has gone. It probably went wherever my readers and commentators went. I realize that I actually had more consistent blogging with a newborn than I do with a toddler. As I am currently writing he is no doubt, dumping the smallest and crumbliest food items onto my floor. He may be placing random playing cards into the slots of the floor vents. He is removing condiments from the door of the fridge and giving them new locations throughout the house. (I kid you not, my 4 year old son found a CAN of bear buried under a couch cushion the other day.) He is dumping toys out of the bins so he can use the bin to climb up onto a stove to open a cabinet to get himself a lollipop. He is very self sufficient.

You ever hear those stories where some single mother keeled over and died and ten days later the body was found with a toddler sitting idly by?

I told Hun that if he went out of town and I was left with just Bam, and I suddenly keeled over, he need not worry.

And my Bam would not even need to depend on toilet water as his source of fluids. His advanced fine motor skills have him twisting open anything from apple juice to beer as I have recently learned. He also can easily choose to eat a chunk of cheese as is or cut slices of it with the sharpest knife he can find - I have learned this as well.

He will remove his dirty diapers on his own and will mark MANY territories over the house, but then he will get a broom, dust pan, towel, hand vac and other cleaning devices and go to town on his shmearing cleaning expertise.

He will probably, when bored, pick up the phone and dial Guam or the Philippines or El Salvador. He likes to chat with random people. he is very friendly that way. He does better with people from Spanish speaking countries as he would like to "count" to them in that preferred language.

He will also turn the "mookik" on for himself and invite some other babies over for dancing and ...... well, beer ....... (do NOT call DCFS on me).

He must know when he is dirty and unfresh based on all the times I found him sitting in the bathtub, sans water rubbing his aromatic lavender shampoo onto his dry hair and clothing. I mean, for a smart baby he should at least know to undress before he gets in that bathtub.

He does his own laundry!

Yes he does, I kid you not.

Someone should let him know, though, that the toilet does not work as well as a washing machine.

He also ......wait ..... my garage door just opened .... my car just started up ...... where's Bam?


5 have shown Orah a little love:

Melissa E. said...

Sounds just like my two year old. Toddlers are nuts and get into everything. My son's favorite toy is his stepstool. It opened up whole new worlds of naughtiness for him. He's not into beer, though. He steals my coffee and the other day in Costco, told me, "Mommy, I want a latte, too!

Candice said...

Oy! Sounds like you've got your hands full. Also sounds like you need to invest in some duct tape. ;)

Orah said...

Candace - I do use duct tape to keep his diaper on. He has learned to gnaw through that :(

elisha said...

don't ya love it when they're smart?

Miriam said...

Sounds like my little guy who just turned 1- he now knows how to open containers with his teeth! He figured out how to open the oven- we had to buy an oven lock. He is absolutly adorable and nuts!