All Talk

My kids do as many kids do....



....They say things that make me laugh.

While I realize that some of their more memorable and laughable revelations and announcements may actually ONLY be funny to me, I will share them here anyway -

mostly so I can throw out the papers that they are written on.


Me: "Ate, why are you full of paint? How did you get so much paint up your sleeve and in your hair?"

Ate: "Lee (his 3 yr old cousin) painted on me."

Me: "Why did Lee paint on you?"

Ate: "Oh ..... she thought I was an easel."

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Ate: (brings a "little people" playground toy) "Mommy, is this a merry go round?"

Me: "Yes."

Ate: "But this is the go round, where's the merry?"

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So: "Mommy, can I have soda?"

Me: "No, it's not good for you."

So: "You know what's worse than soda?"

Me: "What?"

So: (yelling) "POISON!!"

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So has a "Fiona" doll (from Shrek) with stuffing coming out. After I told So and Ro they could not have soda, she asked me if I could fix her doll.

Me: "I will sew up Fiona."

(A minute later I realized Ro was crying for no apparent reason.)

Me: "Ro, why are you crying?"

Ro: "You said you would give So some soda."

Me: (confused) "Huh .......... no, I said I would SEW UP FIONA!!!"

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So: (in the car) "Mommy, where you taking us?"

Me: "It's a surprise."

So: "But maybe you are taking us to a stranger's house and they will kidnap us."

Me: (sarcastic, of course) "Yes, I am taking you to a stranger's house and leaving you there..."

So: "Noooooooooo, really?"

Me: "If you keep asking me where we're going, I will."

Ate: "TAKE RO TOO!"

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Ate: "My eye is twisted, I need a new one."

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So: "What's a first aid kit?"

Me: "Something that contains all you need to help someone if they get hurt or injured."

So: "Like shots?"

Me: "No, more like bandaids and cream..."

So: "Oh ......... so what is a second aid kit?"

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Ro: "What's for dessert?"

Hun: "Watermelon, strawberries..."

Ro: "No, I mean, like, what is for dessert that is nutritious?"

Hun: "Huh?"

Ro: "You know, like cookies or cake..."

Me: "Oh, you mean NOT nutritious."

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Ate: (typical boy) "Smell my feet."

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And from my BIGGEST kid of all -

(I hate his crackberry)

We are driving...

Me: "Hypothetically speaking, what happens if I open the car door and your Blackberry "accidentally" falls out and we "accidentally" drive over it?"

Hun: "I get a new Blackberry."

Me: "And what if that phone "accidentally" falls into the garbage disposal and gets ground up into tiny shards?"

Hun: "I GET A NEW WIFE!"

PEAS And Passover

ATTENTION:

To the guy (or girl - because you just never know) who googled "Hot Banging Mammas" and was (sadly) directed to my blog ....


....I have a feeling I was not the sort of "Hot Banging Mamma" you were looking for.

So sorry to disappoint.


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I am pleased to tell you that my Dad is doing very well (thank G-d). He would have been running around the day after surgery, but my mother grounded him (per Doctor's orders).

But the next day he was at the produce store pickin' out his fruits and veggies just the way he likes 'em.

Of course, the bigger picture that includes an undesirable reality .... that still exists. But, with good friends and deafening music, I was relieved from my "funk" if only for a moment.

BLACK EYED PEAS

Them and the couple at the end of my row who puts the well known phrase -

"GET A ROOM"

to shame, because they thought THEY alone had an entire ARENA

were my entertainment this past Saturday night.


Fergie and Will I Am


The Peas



Surprise! It's Slash



Will I Am was literally singing and texting at the same time. But I will excuse him, because it was his birthday.



Taboo (he scares me a little bit)


Anyway, it was fun, and I am still deaf.

But now I am back in my pre-Passover preparation HELL.

But heaven will be spending a lot of Passover with my Mom and Dad.

And THAT is a blessing.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

In A Funk

I feel like I am being pulled in ten different directions. We all go through it at some time, especially the wives and mothers of the universe. But, these past few weeks have been both joyous and unnerving and I do not see any rest for the weary in my future.

A few weeks ago we celebrated the holiday "PURIM". I will not do a whole post about it because it just seems like it happened so long ago. But we do dress up for that holiday and I will include one picture of the children.



If you can guess who they are ..... well then ..... you are genius.

Life here has been hectic because there have been many unfortunate changes within the family.

My Mother-in-law who is an amazing person that I am extremely fortunate to have a great relationship with is scarce these days.

I have become spoiled by her frequent offers to babysit or have the children over in the past, but she has been in California indefinitely. Unfortunately, she had been attending to the needs of her brother's family as his wife is tragically being treated for cancer.

My Dad became violently ill not too long ago and it was so out of the ordinary for him that my mother begged him to go to the hospital in middle of the night.

Out of seven kids in our family, I and my baby brother are the only ones living in Chicago where my parents reside. I AM A DAUGHTER!!! That means, I am typically the one HERE to take on the role of "parent keeper".

I told my Mom if he is still not well the next day he must go to the Doctor and have a blood draw...

He was feeling better and did not have a blood draw.

Not that the Doctor would have helped anyway because he has a Sh#%head for a Doctor. I know this, because I went to that Doctor too and unless you have a cold, he doesn't pursue anything in the way of finding the problem in order to get to a solution.

I have been begging my Dad for years to get a new Doctor, but I think he feels safe with a Doctor who tells him that everything is A - OK all the time.

My parents went to Israel not too long ago and two days after they arrived there, I received a phone call from my brother that started like this,

"I don't want to scare you, but Dad is in the Hospital...."

Well guess what?

I am friggin' scared!

But G-d works in mysterious ways.

He was staying at my sister, the one who is a nurse over the weekend, when he had a violent attack much like the one he had previously in Chicago. She works at a hospital just a few blocks from her home, and took him there immediately.

There they discovered he has gallstones and his recent illnesses were therefor gallstone attacks.

But after two days of IV antibiotics and medicines, they determined he was not an emergent case and could finish out his trip and safely return to Chicago and find a surgeon here.

Since then, I have been emotionally vested and physically making myself available to help find Doctors and follow up with what direction they would take. And one great thing to come out of this, my Dad also finally agreed to find a new Primary Care Physician.

Two days ago I was in the hospital with my Mom while my Dad had his gallbladder removed and I am THANKFUL that it all seemed to have gone well and he is home now recuperating.

I feel relieved that this "problem" can be checked off, however, it has me facing a cold reality that I do not like.

I wish my parents a loooooooong and healthy life (ad meah v'esrim shana). But, they are not young, and I feel my time being split now, between taking care of my own children, and my lovely aging parents.

I do not have many siblings around "physically" to participate in this new routine of mine (however, all the siblings make many phone calls and participate in decision making). And as an emotional person, these episodes sadden me and put me in a funk.

So that is where I have been lately....

IN A FUNK!!!

Any wise one want to tell me how to get out of it?