If Only Orah Had A "P" In It

Whenever I have to make calls to the credit card company, or the cable company, or my parents, they ask me how my name is spelled.
(So my parents don't really ask me how to spell my name, but they do ask me who I am about five times.)

No matter how hard I try to enunciate, it seems people do not hear the correct lettering. Maybe it is because I do not speak "Punjab", I don't know. In the phone book, I can be found under "Olah". When does the letter "L" sound anything like an "R"?

So years ago I came up with a quicker way to convey the correct spelling of my name. It seems that this revelation of mine came when I realized how some names are just so Universally recognized, that NO letter spelling is necessary.


"Hi, I would like you to lower my interest rate".

"May I have your name please"?

"Sure, just write down OPRAH, then remove the "P".

"Oh my G-d, I can't believe I am speaking to Oprah".

"Seriously, if I was Oprah would I friggin' care how high my interest rate was? IT'S OPRAH
WITHOUT THE "P"....

.....AND WITHOUT THE BANK ACCOUNT"!

Speaking of Oprah...

I was just at her show today.
Not standing outside, desperate.
No, I was an actual audience member. And guess what? Third time is so NOT a charm. I totally thought that I would be blogging about how I was jumping up and down and shrieking like a little girl because I just found out I made it on Oprah's "Most Favorite Things" show. I was all ready to post pictures of all the incredible loot I came home with to make y'all jealous. But this is the third time I sat through the most uninteresting, depressing topic ever. And we did not even get to sit through a whole show. Half of this show was already taped and we sat through two segments and spent the rest of the hour listening to some Oprah stalkers fans try to get Oprah to realize it would benefit her to become their new best friend.

And I woke up at 4 friggin' 30 in the morning to subject myself to this.

The process was still fun and exciting. I went with my friend, Miss S. and my friend/ blogger Rayli .

The topic - Addiction and Interventions.

When the Oprah employee who was warming up the audience asked if anyone in the audience had any addictions they wanted to share, I wanted to raise my hand and stand up and proudly and bravely announce,

"Yes, I am addicted to THE crappy Oprah topics, since those are the only shows I end up getting reservations for."

Don't get me wrong. I actually do not take it for granted that I had my reservation request granted altogether, and for the third time. There was a couple in the audience who claimed to have been trying for 24 years (the entire time Oprah has been in production) to get tickets.

But, do I need to sit in a row, bookended by an old lady who was snoring. I mean, that is how boring this show was. But it became funny when Rayli was totally accused of being the snorer by an Oprah staff member, HA HA.

The only thing that could have made the show more exciting would have been if the pregnant woman in the row behind me who is due this coming Monday would have gone into labor. And I the experienced labor and delivery, and Neonatal Intesive Care nurse could have jumped in and saved the day. But alas, the boring topic was just not enough to put her into labor.

I do have to say, one thing consistent every time I have been to Oprah's show (besides the lame ass topic), Oprah is very personable and friendly with the audience and loves to interact with audience members before and after the taping. But she did let that one stalker fan go on and on and on and on.... Maybe Oprah is a bit TOO nice and could not bring herself to shut the woman up. I would have shut the woman up.

By the time the taping ended, I was feeling the beginnings of a migraine. But we had to stop at the "O" store and NOT buy anything, (even though I really could use that pink key chain with the "O" on it, ahem, ahem ... Rayli ... it's almost Chanukah...)

And then we had to stop at the "HARPO" sign and take some pictures with Jason - heroine addict and whatever his name was - food addict. Well Rayli did, anyway. I just wanted a picture with Rayli and Miss S., but made the mistake of asking Jason - heroine addict's girlfriend to take the pictures and she kept getting all "artistic" with my camera and taking shots at weird angles. Either she is a photography addict or she is smoking something as well.

In the meantime, my head was beginning to throb so terrible, that we cancled our lunch plans so we could all go home and crash in bed.

But at this point, I am thinking I may just have the flu.

So I will cut this short and leave you with some pictures
(because I know Rayli is patiently waiting for me to make my Oprah post first, so she can finally post hers.)


This is the best picture we could get with Miss O.
Can you see her in the middle? There is some glare coming off her face.


This is across from Harpo studios right outside the O store. The guy who took this picture is so gonna get fired. His only job was to watch people exit the O store and relay via walkie talkie (to someone) how many have just exited. He missed five people as he took this picture, but I was kind and filled him in.


Well, obviously us in front of THE sign.



These were the two guests on the show. That is Jason- heroine addict on the left, and whatever his name is - food addict on the right (in case you could not guess which was which). Food addict is actually half the size he used to be. He and Jason seem to have become fast friends, cuz apparently all addicts become friends. However, food addict may like Jason more than we know, for it seems he also purged himself of a secret while in rehab and has come out as a gay man.




And the two of them have made one other fast friend...








RAYLI!

Even though I just could not get into the topic of today's show, I still love me some Oprah. And we still had fun.